There's some interesting discussion about Femme (yes, capitalized) as a specific gender identity, independent of male vs female, and how it's as gender-queer to be Femme or High Femme in this society as it is to be exceptionally Butch. Kate Bornstein and Shar Rednour are both good for reading on the topic.
As a Femme woman who is attracted to the more masculine side of the spectrum in other women, I can tell you it isn't easy figuring out one's sexual identity when the gender identity doesn't match what is expected of a particular group. I wasn't butchie or middle of the road therefore I must not be gay. Uh, wrong. My partner, who is also genderqueer but on the other side of the spectrum as a trans-identified, somewhere-in-the-middle, not quite FTM, was beaten up by the other kids for being the "wrong" gender even before she was mature enough to understand what the beating was for. So, yeah. Some of us are just what/who we are.
In short, I fully agree with you. Thanks for the post. People need reminding that it's ok to be different - and that includes the differentness of having a "traditional" (aka 1950's Donna Reed) gender role.
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Date: 2007-03-11 08:24 am (UTC)As a Femme woman who is attracted to the more masculine side of the spectrum in other women, I can tell you it isn't easy figuring out one's sexual identity when the gender identity doesn't match what is expected of a particular group. I wasn't butchie or middle of the road therefore I must not be gay. Uh, wrong. My partner, who is also genderqueer but on the other side of the spectrum as a trans-identified, somewhere-in-the-middle, not quite FTM, was beaten up by the other kids for being the "wrong" gender even before she was mature enough to understand what the beating was for. So, yeah. Some of us are just what/who we are.
In short, I fully agree with you. Thanks for the post. People need reminding that it's ok to be different - and that includes the differentness of having a "traditional" (aka 1950's Donna Reed) gender role.