How I keep it exciting.

[gfrancie]

The clerk at Trader Joe's was making chit-chat while scanning my items. He asked if I had any exciting plans tonight. I said, (and I am proud of how dead-pan I was) "Doing coke off the back of hookers."
His eyes bugged and I thought he was going to have a stroke. Attempting to maintain professional standards and not openly judging. The person behind me nearly choked on their beverage.
I smiled politely and said, "I am a pretty boring married Mother. I am joking."
The clerk said, "I know." But the tone in his voice kind of showed fear.
I just want to give customer service people good stories to share in the break room.

Comments

[scream4noreason.livejournal.com]

You win.

[photosexual.livejournal.com]

hahaha see if I did that, they'd just scream and accuse me of being a creepy old man (and I AM!)but they'd expect it from me. You, of course, are not a dirty old man. It's good to shake up the public from time to time.

[salamandersam.livejournal.com]

I like to tell people I'm engaging in satanic rituals with goats. It's amazing how many people are willing to believe that.

[jess-faraday.livejournal.com]

You are my hero.

[utsi.livejournal.com]

Tee hee :)
I'd love a customer like you, but most folk really don't know how to deal with the ones with a decent sense of humour. Pity

[jawnbc]

You should add "with my husband" next time. And be ready to administer CPR. :)

[cigale.livejournal.com]

I so admire you :).

[needlediva.livejournal.com]

see, i remember back when that WAS what you did on a wednesday night.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

And for the love of God...make sure this time they are girls. Real...GIRLS.
No one likes surprises.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Gotta keep it fun.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Grow boobs and you can say anything. ANYTHING.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Obviously you and I need to go grocery shopping together.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Hey you write porn.
We all have fun.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

See I always always had a good time in customer service because of people like that.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Oooh good one. Will add.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

It just kind of slipped out. I have been on the internet too long. It has ruined my brain.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

It was Thursdays and they weren't hookers. They were gentleman friends. THANK YOU MOTHER!

[the-sybil.livejournal.com]

I created a similar sensation at a Mommy's group this morning: the conversation had turned to the artificial insemination of turkeys (don't ask) and I found myself making a reference to "turkey jerky"...

[jillithian.livejournal.com]

LOL

[jess-faraday.livejournal.com]

Maybe that's how I'll answer if anyone asks about my plans for the weekend. "Well, I'm going to go home and bang out about a thousand words about double penetration. Or so to speak." Heh.

[wolfchilde.livejournal.com]

Oh I do that too, it is rather convincing when I am wearing my black trench coat!

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

The man hands didn't give it away eh?

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Hee. You would be famous.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

See that is how you make Mommy's group exciting.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Gotta make Wednesdays exciting.

[nurit.livejournal.com]

man I miss your sense of humor.