Today on this lazy day I am being interviewed by
jbonne He is well known for his wit, his ability to make a mighty fine cup of coffee and his hatred of the Ford "aspire".
Growing up where you did, what would you say is the most surreal thing you encountered?The entire experience was surreal. I can cite a few examples. When I was about four years old I was standing outside a bookshop eating a doughnut. My mother was inside looking at books, food was not allowed inside and the town was so unbelievably safe that a four year old could stand outside enjoying her sugary treat. The surreal part was a yuppie tourist coming up to me and asking if he could take my photograph. I remember thinking he was kind of weird and wondered if they didn't have any kids where he lived. I looked at him with disgust and said, "go away, I can't talk to strangers." He asked a couple of more times and I ran inside.
It was surreal in retrospect that some ass-face felt compelled to photograph some small child in a small town in the United States like she was one of those beggar children you might encounter in Casablanca or something. I should point out that as a small child I looked like some wild gyspy with my dresses, curly dark hair and big eyes.
more surreal moments: hanging out in my father's restaurant with a lot of boat people from Australia, Tazmania...everywhere in the world and living it up. I ate lot's of crazy food, talked to boatbuilders, artists, musicians, hacks, sailors, bikers with absolute ease. Most of them would be quite drunk and feed me french fries while I chattered at length about my dolls, my ballet classes, boats, painting, food I liked to eat.
The house I grew up in. We had teenaged boys hanging out singing, gay men who kissed openly, parties with actors, writers...hacks.
The number of people I knew whose fathers had sex change operations, came out as gay or completely went insane and left their wives.
That was pretty surreal to observe.
You're invited to compete on "Iron Chef," with its unlimited budget. Your food is ... LOBSTER. (ha!) Quick, what's your menu?Okay first I would start off with a lobster and rattle snake starter. It would be a salad of seafood and reptile qualities and at one point you set fire to everything really quickly to give it browned quality and then toss it together with basil.
The soup would be a traditional lobster bisque because everyone likes that. But I might mess with the presentation a bit and serve it in a small pumpkin shell, and within the stock I would add pureed pumpkin (strained of course) and up the cheese factor.
The main dish? I would take a Daliesque approach with a touch of Schiapparelli. I would lay the lobster out on a bed of puffed pastry made to look like the famous dress Schiapparelli designed with Dali in mind. The puff pastry would be filled with truffles and fois gras.
Everyone would have an orgy afterwards.
What's the next job you'd like to have/a food writer, or personal assistant to Jeffery Steingarten. I am good at dealing with men who act like babies, and I am patient and like to eat.
Or a part time farmer of heirloom vegetables and flowers.
Would you rather be on the road of excess or living in the palace of wisdom?Well, I have gone down the road of excess enough, I think it is time to have that palace of wisdom. I figure with that bit of wisdom I can make my excessive behavior a little more well-thought out and successful.
So really, why are British boys better?They have some of the qualities of a gay man without the heartache of knowing he will never love you, just your taste in shoes.
Though you have to be careful, you might end up with Noel Coward and be at square one and have a man who adores you, but doesn't want to fuck you.
Also accents are always intriguing. Cheap I know.