One can dream can't they?

Another day with Whitney Houston.
Imagine if they did a reality television show with her. It would make Jessica Simpson, and the Osbournes seem like amateurs.

Don't fuck with me, I have a rash.

People who suck. May I present case no.9785043
I was helping a lady who was purchasing a book as a gift. I asked her if she wanted a gift receipt, she said no. I rang up her damn purchase and then afterward she said, "oh wait I think I do need one."
Now I work for a backward company that is so fearful of shrink (that means stuff that is stolen for those who don't know) we can't do things like gift receipts after the fact without calling a head cashier. I am cool with that though it does feel a bit demeaning at times. This was one of those moments.
I explained the situation to her and said I could call someone and it would take a minute or two. All of a sudden Miss Mom-Jeans is getting her knickers in a twist and says, "well I don't have a minute." I smiled gently and said,"I am sorry." She asked if there was something I could do and I explained, "well I am limited in my capacities." She responded by saying, "well that is rather obvious."
I did not bitch-slap her but I did look at her like she was the biggest bitch to walk in since my boss a few hours earlier.
I smiled with more teeth showing (because secretly written on my teeth invisible ink was the phrase fuck off ho-bag) and said, "well....I guess we can't help you then. Pity..."
I then walked away.
It felt good to know that I didn't kill her yet at the same time I wanted to chew her out and explain she can't insult my fucking intelligence and if she wasn't careful I would hunt her down and strangle her with her mom-jeans.

I had some chocolate biscuits and a copy of Gourmet magazine to calm down.

....

In happier news I am pleased to report to cogshiftingman that the new issue of Gotham (available at fine newstands everywhere) has Kate Winslet on the cover. So hurry get it. I should explain to my faithful readers that cogshiftingman is a fan of Ms. Winslet. One might say he is the founder and president of the "I want to touch Kate Winslet" fan club.

....

This afternoon I may make some brownies. And some soup.

Oh yeah I also had a customer with the greatest name ever.
Heinrich Snit.
True story!

neat things.

I rather like my new doctor. She is a cool lady. She called me up and we had a chat about some culture done with some tests I recently had.
It was a pleasant conversation. I think I may stick with her.

I have brownies in the oven, I am prepping things for soup. All I need to do now is to wash my pretty princess hair.

Dude, for television geeks out there (you know who you are) I am wicked excited about something.
On March 30th The Jack Paar Collection is coming out. It has a documentary, some interviews he did and three complete episodes of his television program.
If ever in the goodness of the hearts of the powers that be, decided to release all available episodes of the Jack Paar show I would be in Heaven. So would my Mom.

Jack Paar essentially invented the late night talk show formula. He was a wit, he was incredibly smart, emotional, kind, and perceptive. he interviewed Castro and what made it such a big deal was the fact that Castro spoke in English. He never ever does that. He was the very first person to introduce America to The Beatles. He had on Oscar Levant (probably the funniest bastard to ever grace television) John F. Kennedy, Muhammad Ali, Judy Garland, Liberace, Nixon...Anyone.
Oh I can't go on enough about how much I dig Jack Paar.
Brilliant man!

Yeah so I am giddy.