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Dec. 25th, 2004
oh sweet jesus
Dec. 25th, 2004 11:55 pmI do believe I ate an entire animal today. I am not sure. Things got a bit hazy even before lunch. I sometimes wonder if his family is trying to fatten me up and then sacrifice me to some sort of pagan God.
Mr. Jenner just told me that they would be fattening me up to eat me. Great I am staying with the witch from Hansel and Gretl.
salmon, prawns and champagne were eaten before lunch. Then we tore into a turkey, stuffing, the famous bacon wrapped sausage, vegetables, and wine. With more wine.
We had Christmas pudding, more booze and then I collapsed after that meal. But later on they made us eat more. We had to have chocolate and beer and wine was offered in case we were getting slightly sober. So we had more. Then sandwiches and nibbles were handed out.
I think I now weight around 700 pounds.
Mr. Jenner's youngest brother Paul had his girlfriend and her child here as guests. The child is three years old and he is so damn adorable. He got everyone to give him their 20p that they found in their Christmas puddings. Quite the little con artist.
He received every single toy truck and car known to man for Christmas.
Mr. Jenner is extra sexy because he gave me the 'think pink' bath set from Lush. I think a certain someone is getting Christmas nookie.
The greatest line today was uttered by Mr. Jenner, "Grandpa your hat and balls are flashing."
I can not make this stuff up.
Oh yeah and we played nine million fucking games and quizzes. These people are game happy. I'm just sayin'.
Okay I need to pass out.
Mr. Jenner just told me that they would be fattening me up to eat me. Great I am staying with the witch from Hansel and Gretl.
salmon, prawns and champagne were eaten before lunch. Then we tore into a turkey, stuffing, the famous bacon wrapped sausage, vegetables, and wine. With more wine.
We had Christmas pudding, more booze and then I collapsed after that meal. But later on they made us eat more. We had to have chocolate and beer and wine was offered in case we were getting slightly sober. So we had more. Then sandwiches and nibbles were handed out.
I think I now weight around 700 pounds.
Mr. Jenner's youngest brother Paul had his girlfriend and her child here as guests. The child is three years old and he is so damn adorable. He got everyone to give him their 20p that they found in their Christmas puddings. Quite the little con artist.
He received every single toy truck and car known to man for Christmas.
Mr. Jenner is extra sexy because he gave me the 'think pink' bath set from Lush. I think a certain someone is getting Christmas nookie.
The greatest line today was uttered by Mr. Jenner, "Grandpa your hat and balls are flashing."
I can not make this stuff up.
Oh yeah and we played nine million fucking games and quizzes. These people are game happy. I'm just sayin'.
Okay I need to pass out.