How I keep it exciting.

The clerk at Trader Joe's was making chit-chat while scanning my items. He asked if I had any exciting plans tonight. I said, (and I am proud of how dead-pan I was) "Doing coke off the back of hookers."
His eyes bugged and I thought he was going to have a stroke. Attempting to maintain professional standards and not openly judging. The person behind me nearly choked on their beverage.
I smiled politely and said, "I am a pretty boring married Mother. I am joking."
The clerk said, "I know." But the tone in his voice kind of showed fear.
I just want to give customer service people good stories to share in the break room.