I will even throw in some twine and tie it to your car.

Senor Onion has been showing off how Two he can be today.
I am not amused and I am thisclose to selling him.
For cheap.

He really is a good kid most of the time but this morning he has woken up with the urge to make every single task an absolute trial or terror. The laws of physics piss him off. The fact that I won't let him watch something on TV pisses him off. That we lack kiwi pisses him off. That the screws on his work-bench don't come apart in two pieces? The screws are the worst thing EVER and must be thrown across the room. That I can't seem to read a story if he covers up the page or turns the page too quickly? Well I am a jerk and the only answer is to throw the book across the room. That something falls on the ground and has to be picked up? It causes the sort of anguish normally associated with the trail of tears. That I had him take a nap? Well I am just the biggest asshole in Asshholetown. (population: fuckyouverymuch)

If I have to read one more Richard Scarry book or draw one more picture of Humpty-Dumpty I may throw something.

He has spent a lot of time in time-out today. He knows time-out better than the Kalahari Bushman know their homeland.