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a return to getting real on the internet.
Sep. 20th, 2010 11:22 amI am reaching the end of my prescription of zoloft so I am now having the fun task of tapering off the meds. It is one of those things you need to do slowly so as not to make your brain angry with you. "I'm jonesin' man...what are you trying to give me? skittles?" It seems you can get things like "zaps" and vertigo and what not while your brain attempts to deal without the help. So far I think I am okay. Let's just hope that once I get past all of that that I can get through daily living without panic attacks. Wee! If not, well that is okay. At least I have something that can help me deal with drowning feeling.
I am able to recognize certain triggers when I begin to go down the anxiety hole and I feel absolute dread and possibly a full on panic attack. I can tell myself, "Hey self, you are winding yourself up. Chill. You can't solve every problem. This worry is likely NOT a problem and it will be okay. Remember that self. It will be okay. Now breathe and have a cup of tea."
Meditation is a big help. I can't always do it every day but I can apply a lot of the ideas behind it when I go about my day. I found that when I am putting my daughter down to sleep or I am holding her to calm her, I can't get up in my head and fixate on things because she doesn't calm down either. Sometimes I have to consciously make myself pause my brain and say, "Time to let go." Once I do that, my daughter quickly calms. It is my mantra I think. "Time to let go."
It is sort of like I have been given a brake or some reins to slow down the crazy bus. It is funny I mention this because last night I kept having dreams where I was driving recklessly on roads (with children -not my own for some reason) and I didn't have a good handle on the turning or the brakes of the vehicle. I woke up this morning thinking, "hey it will be all right. I just need to slow down sometimes and accept what is what."
I also went to a horse race in my dream. Cool.
I made some rockin' muffins this morning. Recipe later.
I am able to recognize certain triggers when I begin to go down the anxiety hole and I feel absolute dread and possibly a full on panic attack. I can tell myself, "Hey self, you are winding yourself up. Chill. You can't solve every problem. This worry is likely NOT a problem and it will be okay. Remember that self. It will be okay. Now breathe and have a cup of tea."
Meditation is a big help. I can't always do it every day but I can apply a lot of the ideas behind it when I go about my day. I found that when I am putting my daughter down to sleep or I am holding her to calm her, I can't get up in my head and fixate on things because she doesn't calm down either. Sometimes I have to consciously make myself pause my brain and say, "Time to let go." Once I do that, my daughter quickly calms. It is my mantra I think. "Time to let go."
It is sort of like I have been given a brake or some reins to slow down the crazy bus. It is funny I mention this because last night I kept having dreams where I was driving recklessly on roads (with children -not my own for some reason) and I didn't have a good handle on the turning or the brakes of the vehicle. I woke up this morning thinking, "hey it will be all right. I just need to slow down sometimes and accept what is what."
I also went to a horse race in my dream. Cool.
I made some rockin' muffins this morning. Recipe later.
