BRING IT LADY.

Today I volunteered in the class. It was a party as always. I worked on this crazy dinosaur puzzle with different kids, read some stories to other kids and generally wrangled. A fun time was had by all. Now before class started I was talking to his teacher and a few other Moms. We were sorting out who had what jobs (since the calendar was a little mixed up) and I agreed to do snack. Snack nazi Mom had wanted that job I guess... Anyhow, the teacher asks me, "how are you and the family doing?" (since everyone has been sick) and I said, "oh you know... getting over colds." It should be noted that I haven't been sick and that EVERYONE in the class has been struck down with this cold of doom -including many parents. The snack nazi mom looks at me and says in the most bitchy voice, "great. And you are in charge of snack?" There was a moment of silence from everyone. I smiled gently and said, "well... I don't have a cold and I plan on washing my hands before preparing things. Are there concerns?" She walked away. Lady what kind of bitch-cakes are you eating with breakfast eh? She also wanted to know who was bringing snack today and wanted to see what was for snack. I almost told her, "pixie sticks and vodka martinis. And if the kids are good they can have some lucky strikes. Unfiltered." We were actually serving rice crackers, cheese and snap peas. For motherfucking fuck's sake lady. Give up a little control.
I kind of want to lick her phone.

I shall call you Flower Star White Roosevelt (name of my dog when I was a kid)

As I mentioned, one of Senor Onion's classmates became a big brother yesterday. The parents haven't decided upon a name yet for the baby girl. Senor Onion's teacher asked the kids to come up with ideas for a possible name. The list proved to be pretty hilarious.
A few highlights:

Ja Jill
Sonica
Dace (which is actually a Latvian name. One of the kids has Latvian parents)
Bunny Rabbit
Vincent Vincent Vincent (this was Senor Onion's contribution, after the name of one of his friends)
Bunny Rabbit
Rosa
Naomi
Purple

While discussing names with some of the other parents, I found out that one of the kids in the class has the middle name of Black-Lightning. Hand to God, I kid you not. Apparently after a motorcycle. Another parent told me about her friend's kid who has the middle name of Cupcake. Middle names are fair play in my opinion. You want to get as insane as possible? Knock yourself out. A kid can always hide that with an initial later on if they so choose.
Black-lightning. That sure wins a lot of contests. Also it sets you up if you choose to be a super-hero.