from there and here

My Mother was telling me about yet another hilarious bank robbery in my hometown. Bank robberies there are not like any other. The people who do the robbing are a special breed. There was the woman who robbed a bank and her getaway vehicle was a bicycle. (hey better for the environment) She made it about five miles before she was caught. There was the guy who robbed a bank and that very night he was at the local tavern -TELLING people, "yeah that was me" (I believe he was also buying rounds). There was a guy (I can't remember if it was the same guy) who robbed a bank and he didn't get much -mostly Canadian money and when the cops came to his house, they FOUND in his room, rough drafts of the stick up note. (because apparently you want to get the wording just right.) Then there was the latest. This guy stood outside of the bank and pulled a stocking over his head. Yes. Right outside of the building. A part of town that is pretty heavy with foot traffic. He goes and robs the bank. They give him cash and then later on the cops come to get him (he lived quite near the bank) and he tells the cops, "That wasn't me. That guy had a stocking on his head."

The unofficial motto where I grew up was "We're all here because we're not all there."
And how.