in the trenches

Some may recall past stories of the unpleasant child in Senor Onion's class and the difficult relationship that he and Senor Onion have had. Over time things have settled down. Senor Onion has worked hard to become his semi-civilized self and has developed a greater sense of empathy. I am incredibly proud of how much my kid has developed this year. Preschool has been a truly wonderful experience for him and I feel fortunate to have him in a place where so many people who care for him and have helped him to become the awesome kid he is. Interestingly enough the unpleasant child has calmed down and has also worked hard at being empathetic and kinder to others. He is a good kid who is obviously learning a lot about the responsibility of power and leadership. What it is sort of fascinating is that as the year has gone on, he has lost some of his influence over some of the boys and I can see how that is frustrating for him. He is used to telling others what to do and they would do it. Now? not so much. Life as a four year old is one of ups and downs.

Senor Onion still really likes the unpleasant child. The unpleasant child's Mother really really likes Senor Onion and is a very nice woman who understands what her kid is doing and obviously she is working hard to help him.

Senor Onion was invited to the unpleasant child's birthday (I need to come up with a new name for this kid. Maybe I will call him the caped one since he likes to wear capes.) We figured we would be able to make it. Though I was hesitant this week because the caped one was being especially unkind to Senor Onion for no good reason. It horrified his Mother. It kind of came to a head this morning when Senor Onion rushed up to say hello and all that jazz and the caped one said, "You aren't invited to my party, go away." Senor Onion looked crushed and the caped one's Mother swooped in and was all, "OHNOYOUDIDN'T" to her son and threatened right then and there to cancel the party if he was going to be so uncivilized. It made me really uncomfortable. I don't want a kid to lose a party over something like this.
I wondered if maybe we should stay home from the party because A. why be masochistic and hang out with someone who doesn't like you and B. It could make the party unpleasant if they got into a fight.
The Mother was really upset and didn't want us to avoid the party and she felt ashamed of her kid and well.. yeah.

Oy vey.

I asked Senor Onion after school if he still wanted to go to the party. He did. We went and he had a nice time. Even the birthday boy was pretty civilized. Senor Onion felt a little shy but eventually spent time playing with a few other guests and enjoyed the frosting on the cake. I am glad we went. The Mother of the birthday boy looked really happy to see us and she kept apologizing for her son. I told her many times, "it's okay. Sometimes kids are...kids. and we are doing our best to help them."

It is such a hard thing when you have kids. Trying to encourage their sense of love, compassion and kindness and also help them face the reality that not everyone is going to be best of friends, some people will be unkind and not to give up on things and how to be strong about all of it. It isn't the end of the world if someone doesn't want to be your friend or is unpleasant to you. But at the same time I want to protect him from all of that cruelty and awfulness. I am empathetic to the Mother's position as well. You feel terrible when your own child is being unkind to others and you try your best to encourage the better side in that kid.

So I am having a brownie.

the amusing side

So here was an amusing thing from the party today. They were serving wine for the grown-ups as the party -how delightful and urbane is that? Anyways the hostess for the party was a princess. It was one of those themed parties where there is someone leading the kids about and so on. It was a sort of Knights and Castles thing and the hostess was Princess so and so and she wore a tiara and a very pink fluffy gown and was a riot. When the party was nearly over the princess poured herself a glass of wine and said, "yeah I need this." Then she cackled.
It was a bit like if a Disney Princess came at you and said, "yeah my dogs are tired, can you tell the birds to lay off the tweeting business for five minutes? I need my Mommy juice."