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getting over that.
Jul. 14th, 2011 10:18 pmLearning to buy tank tops. I really liked this because damn I remember following that particular mind-set. "oh damn better wear something with sleeves otherwise people might see my arms." The funny thing is, the arms will still be seen. They just have fabric on them.
Yesterday I saw this picture of me and my upper arms weren't looking all svelte and awesome and for a brief moment I thought, "ack someone needs to delete this, MY ARMS LOOK LIKE LARGE SAUSAGES" and then I breathed and thought, "eh who gives a fuck. I still look pretty decent and it is a nice picture of me with my daughter and one of her Great-Grandmas."
I think even a couple of years ago I would have wanted to die inside. So here is a totally awesome aspect of being thirty one, I am better at handling the negative self-talk and bullshit cultural attitudes about self-image. I am not completely free of it but I think I am better at letting go of some of the fear. So I sometimes wear a sleeveless top or dress. I hope this will help my daughter as she gets older. Eat the piece of pie if you want instead of making it some sort of weird guilt thing, wear that top if it is all kinds of crazy awesome and don't hide inside thinking you are a monster. Unless you are and you breathe fire and have six arms....though you should come out because I want to see someone who breathes fire and has six arms. Conversation starter is what you tell yourself if you are a monster.
I am back at looking at bicycles again. I think maybe this weekend I will check out a nearby bike shop and see what kind of sexy wares they have going on...
Tonight while I was cooking up things for dinner, Miss Biscuit came up to me and saw me put a pan on the stove. She pointed up and said, "bacon?" and immediately made the sign for me to lift her up. Now I wonder if I cook too much bacon. I picked her up and showed her it was just sauteed vegetables. She smelled them and said "yummy". Of course she had no interest in them when dinner came around. Fine. Be that way.
Yesterday I saw this picture of me and my upper arms weren't looking all svelte and awesome and for a brief moment I thought, "ack someone needs to delete this, MY ARMS LOOK LIKE LARGE SAUSAGES" and then I breathed and thought, "eh who gives a fuck. I still look pretty decent and it is a nice picture of me with my daughter and one of her Great-Grandmas."
I think even a couple of years ago I would have wanted to die inside. So here is a totally awesome aspect of being thirty one, I am better at handling the negative self-talk and bullshit cultural attitudes about self-image. I am not completely free of it but I think I am better at letting go of some of the fear. So I sometimes wear a sleeveless top or dress. I hope this will help my daughter as she gets older. Eat the piece of pie if you want instead of making it some sort of weird guilt thing, wear that top if it is all kinds of crazy awesome and don't hide inside thinking you are a monster. Unless you are and you breathe fire and have six arms....though you should come out because I want to see someone who breathes fire and has six arms. Conversation starter is what you tell yourself if you are a monster.
I am back at looking at bicycles again. I think maybe this weekend I will check out a nearby bike shop and see what kind of sexy wares they have going on...
Tonight while I was cooking up things for dinner, Miss Biscuit came up to me and saw me put a pan on the stove. She pointed up and said, "bacon?" and immediately made the sign for me to lift her up. Now I wonder if I cook too much bacon. I picked her up and showed her it was just sauteed vegetables. She smelled them and said "yummy". Of course she had no interest in them when dinner came around. Fine. Be that way.
