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so we are staying?
Jul. 5th, 2013 11:24 pmWe went out to dinner last night (it was lovely, I ate crab and prawns.) and we discussed as a family our year here in England. It has gone by fast. We've adjusted to things. The kids are thriving in their school. (really it is a pretty nice school, and I am pretty suspicious about state education, though in theory I totally support the idea of education being available to every single person... I have a lot of feelings about how people are taught. But that's another conversation.) It's a good community, there is space galore for all of us. Some things are still totally weird to me, but I go with it, or I just make my opinions known in my very American way.
"What the fuck is that about? No really..."
I have a lot of thoughts/emotions/opinions about my life right now. I am not exactly sure where to begin. This is where I live, but a significant part of me will always view Washington as "Home". Like if you found me with a label, it would say, "Please return to the Northwest." I am most definitely a native there in every shape way and form. And it feels strange (as much as I follow what goes on there, and I stay attached to things) to sometimes feel it is changing before my eyes, and I can't quite keep up. So then I begin to wonder, where am I attached? It makes me think of the conversation with my husband's Auntie L. and how she has lived here in England, longer than she lived in Denmark, and that slightly stateless feeling she has sometimes. I am still new to this.
It's not being near my family, and close friends that makes my heart ache at times. Mr. Jenner ever the awesome and loving human that he is, said we'll make sure to visit every so often, and to find ways to make sure my Mom, and siblings come here. He knows how much I need my connections to my crazy crazy family. And my friends.
I work things out. I come to the conclusion that I need to make graham crackers to have things that taste like home. (s'mores just don't quite feel right with digestive biscuits.) I make Thanksgiving a thing in my neck of the woods. I hold on to my rituals as much as it might make English people raise an eyebrow. And so on.
I think of my sister bringing up how when we were growing up, I did entertain fantasies of living far away, and it seemed so impossible. Pure pipe-dreams. "wouldn't it be great to do such and such..." and then I got to do it. And my childhood self is still blinking in awe. And I don't know what to do next.
"What the fuck is that about? No really..."
I have a lot of thoughts/emotions/opinions about my life right now. I am not exactly sure where to begin. This is where I live, but a significant part of me will always view Washington as "Home". Like if you found me with a label, it would say, "Please return to the Northwest." I am most definitely a native there in every shape way and form. And it feels strange (as much as I follow what goes on there, and I stay attached to things) to sometimes feel it is changing before my eyes, and I can't quite keep up. So then I begin to wonder, where am I attached? It makes me think of the conversation with my husband's Auntie L. and how she has lived here in England, longer than she lived in Denmark, and that slightly stateless feeling she has sometimes. I am still new to this.
It's not being near my family, and close friends that makes my heart ache at times. Mr. Jenner ever the awesome and loving human that he is, said we'll make sure to visit every so often, and to find ways to make sure my Mom, and siblings come here. He knows how much I need my connections to my crazy crazy family. And my friends.
I work things out. I come to the conclusion that I need to make graham crackers to have things that taste like home. (s'mores just don't quite feel right with digestive biscuits.) I make Thanksgiving a thing in my neck of the woods. I hold on to my rituals as much as it might make English people raise an eyebrow. And so on.
I think of my sister bringing up how when we were growing up, I did entertain fantasies of living far away, and it seemed so impossible. Pure pipe-dreams. "wouldn't it be great to do such and such..." and then I got to do it. And my childhood self is still blinking in awe. And I don't know what to do next.
