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perspective
Nov. 1st, 2013 02:31 pmI spent the morning trying to fight the universe and its particular time-line. I was pretty patient about it but by the time I came home, I thought, "I am done, no more fighting."
Some of it came about through random decisions.
The kids go back to school Monday and we have had a pretty relaxed week at home. Sure there have been shingles, (shingle all the way!) but we hung out, we ran errands, we did things. The kids did plenty of good playing, they hung out with their cousins, they got to determine a fair portion of their schedule.
This morning I was pretty relaxed about them taking their time to get out the door so we could run some errands. But it did take awhile. "Put on your socks. Yes those socks. Let's put them on." "Forward. Move forward. Yes that way." We get out the door!
I took one of the regular back roads and was behind a van, but the van found that a tree was down, so it involved careful choreography to back up, turn around (when another car shows up, and then someone has to open up the gate to a field so more turning can be done.) and drive back a bit to another detour which adds time to the drive. But it was a nice drive. There were views, we passed a farm on a 4-wheeler with his sheepdog and he waved at the kids. The farmer that is. Though I wouldn't put it past a smart sheepdog to wave at people. We drive through one of the larger villages and there is the Friday traffic so it takes a bit to get through that. Then as we reached the turn-off to go into town, we see the world's longest line, because they are doing road-work both ways, right by a round-a-bout, and you know... that is how it goes. BUT I was able to slip out of the line and drive further down another road and take another detour to get into town. More time. But again the view was all right, the kids were calm, and we had time. I must remember this. But I did begin to sound like GOB from "Arrested Development."
It took a bit of effort but I found parking. I know the score. It's Friday. It's the first of the month. People got paid. Everyone is in town to do some business. We get money, we go to the shoe shop to get Senor Onion some new school shoes. We look at possible shoes for Miss Biscuit and the poor dear sweet Miss Biscuit has wide feet like her dear Mom. And the shoes she desired that could have fit her foot in length did not fit in width. And she began to cry. Not a tantrum sort of cry. But the cry that many women know when the clothing/shoe industry doesn't have something for them. And none of the other shoes were in her size. I held her. I was really hoping we would avoid this fate until she was about ten or so. God I know all too well the crying that comes with not finding anything that fits. My poor little Biscuit. She will be okay. I will find her shoes. FUCK THE WORLD, we will get shoes for this lady. And they will be pink. And they will be awesome. And they will suit her kick-ass personality. After that, we went to the toy shop to look at toys. Senor Onion wanted to look at things for his Birthday. Miss Biscuit looked at things for Christmas. Baby ponies! Unicorns! Lego! Postman Pat stuff! Art supplies! Everyone was cheered up with the prospect of future gifts.
We went to the bakery and hurray there was bread, and treats. We got out of town, and went the the grocery store. It was the grocery store. But we did it and smoked salmon was on sale!!! Senor Onion was pretty excited. There will be on smoked salmon and scrambled eggs on toast for supper tonight. But then I got in line to check out.
And I thought of the knight in "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade". I had a lot of stuff in my cart. So did the woman in front of me. No big deal. Let's be cool. But she had three different transactions because of something involving coupons. And then one of the coupons wasn't working quite right, and a supervisor was needed but the supervisor wasn't showing up because they were standing around saying, "innit" a lot. Eventually someone hunted down a supervisor, put a tag on her, and tracked her movement all the way from the Tundra to a Morrisons in Cornwall. She came and fiddled with the coupon for awhile. And then the woman divided up her transactions even more. With more coupons. And I was standing around waiting to put my stuff on the conveyor belt, while trying to keep two very patient children from getting too antsy. "YES you can help. Keep your hands to yourself. No you may not have whatever it is you want. Yes I know this is taking awhile but we must be calm. No we don't have to go anywhere else. I promise. Yes. Really. Stop sticking your tongue at your brother. No you can't have a donut." And the woman's many transactions continued. Along with her many coupons. But hey, she was likely saving money and that's cool. Eventually she left and then it was my turn. Hurray. The ice aged had passed, the mastodons were no more, but now we can smelt things. I was working like mad to get stuff bagged with help from the kids. You know... "help". I got things paid for like a god damn boss, NO I do not want savers stamps. NO I do not want any of it. Not even the free pony. I want out. OUT. Then there is the demolition derby to get out of the fucking store. Old people can be slow since they have spent a life time moving, But able-bodied folks this is not the time to have a chat about all the people in Cornwall. Not there. Not right there. Go to the café of disappointment for that talk. You will be there awhile. The tea will be bad but you can chat in peace. I just want to leave.
We get out. We leave. We get gas. Then like a god damn genius (please refer to the knight pointing out that I chose poorly) my mind forgot about that fallen tree and it wasn't until I came across it that I had a think. There was technically enough room to pass by. The tree was fallen on a power line. This was all worrisome. But I felt brave, stupid, and without an ounce of concern for anything. I began to drive. I got stuck in the mud. I reversed and drove over a tree. FUCK IT ALL FUCK IT ALL LET'S DRIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I got through the grinding mud, and passed the tree and we made it home. The kids cheered. I yelled out, "MAMA HAS NO PATIENCE THERE WILL BE CANDY AT LUNCH!"
And there was. Along with left-over pizza. And raspberries and yogurt so we don't get rickets or scurvy.
I know friends and family with real problems and so mine are few. But by 1pm, I was done with all of it. Universe you won. I will stay home. I will roast pumpkins. I will accept that you have a pace set for me today.
Some of it came about through random decisions.
The kids go back to school Monday and we have had a pretty relaxed week at home. Sure there have been shingles, (shingle all the way!) but we hung out, we ran errands, we did things. The kids did plenty of good playing, they hung out with their cousins, they got to determine a fair portion of their schedule.
This morning I was pretty relaxed about them taking their time to get out the door so we could run some errands. But it did take awhile. "Put on your socks. Yes those socks. Let's put them on." "Forward. Move forward. Yes that way." We get out the door!
I took one of the regular back roads and was behind a van, but the van found that a tree was down, so it involved careful choreography to back up, turn around (when another car shows up, and then someone has to open up the gate to a field so more turning can be done.) and drive back a bit to another detour which adds time to the drive. But it was a nice drive. There were views, we passed a farm on a 4-wheeler with his sheepdog and he waved at the kids. The farmer that is. Though I wouldn't put it past a smart sheepdog to wave at people. We drive through one of the larger villages and there is the Friday traffic so it takes a bit to get through that. Then as we reached the turn-off to go into town, we see the world's longest line, because they are doing road-work both ways, right by a round-a-bout, and you know... that is how it goes. BUT I was able to slip out of the line and drive further down another road and take another detour to get into town. More time. But again the view was all right, the kids were calm, and we had time. I must remember this. But I did begin to sound like GOB from "Arrested Development."
It took a bit of effort but I found parking. I know the score. It's Friday. It's the first of the month. People got paid. Everyone is in town to do some business. We get money, we go to the shoe shop to get Senor Onion some new school shoes. We look at possible shoes for Miss Biscuit and the poor dear sweet Miss Biscuit has wide feet like her dear Mom. And the shoes she desired that could have fit her foot in length did not fit in width. And she began to cry. Not a tantrum sort of cry. But the cry that many women know when the clothing/shoe industry doesn't have something for them. And none of the other shoes were in her size. I held her. I was really hoping we would avoid this fate until she was about ten or so. God I know all too well the crying that comes with not finding anything that fits. My poor little Biscuit. She will be okay. I will find her shoes. FUCK THE WORLD, we will get shoes for this lady. And they will be pink. And they will be awesome. And they will suit her kick-ass personality. After that, we went to the toy shop to look at toys. Senor Onion wanted to look at things for his Birthday. Miss Biscuit looked at things for Christmas. Baby ponies! Unicorns! Lego! Postman Pat stuff! Art supplies! Everyone was cheered up with the prospect of future gifts.
We went to the bakery and hurray there was bread, and treats. We got out of town, and went the the grocery store. It was the grocery store. But we did it and smoked salmon was on sale!!! Senor Onion was pretty excited. There will be on smoked salmon and scrambled eggs on toast for supper tonight. But then I got in line to check out.
And I thought of the knight in "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade". I had a lot of stuff in my cart. So did the woman in front of me. No big deal. Let's be cool. But she had three different transactions because of something involving coupons. And then one of the coupons wasn't working quite right, and a supervisor was needed but the supervisor wasn't showing up because they were standing around saying, "innit" a lot. Eventually someone hunted down a supervisor, put a tag on her, and tracked her movement all the way from the Tundra to a Morrisons in Cornwall. She came and fiddled with the coupon for awhile. And then the woman divided up her transactions even more. With more coupons. And I was standing around waiting to put my stuff on the conveyor belt, while trying to keep two very patient children from getting too antsy. "YES you can help. Keep your hands to yourself. No you may not have whatever it is you want. Yes I know this is taking awhile but we must be calm. No we don't have to go anywhere else. I promise. Yes. Really. Stop sticking your tongue at your brother. No you can't have a donut." And the woman's many transactions continued. Along with her many coupons. But hey, she was likely saving money and that's cool. Eventually she left and then it was my turn. Hurray. The ice aged had passed, the mastodons were no more, but now we can smelt things. I was working like mad to get stuff bagged with help from the kids. You know... "help". I got things paid for like a god damn boss, NO I do not want savers stamps. NO I do not want any of it. Not even the free pony. I want out. OUT. Then there is the demolition derby to get out of the fucking store. Old people can be slow since they have spent a life time moving, But able-bodied folks this is not the time to have a chat about all the people in Cornwall. Not there. Not right there. Go to the café of disappointment for that talk. You will be there awhile. The tea will be bad but you can chat in peace. I just want to leave.
We get out. We leave. We get gas. Then like a god damn genius (please refer to the knight pointing out that I chose poorly) my mind forgot about that fallen tree and it wasn't until I came across it that I had a think. There was technically enough room to pass by. The tree was fallen on a power line. This was all worrisome. But I felt brave, stupid, and without an ounce of concern for anything. I began to drive. I got stuck in the mud. I reversed and drove over a tree. FUCK IT ALL FUCK IT ALL LET'S DRIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I got through the grinding mud, and passed the tree and we made it home. The kids cheered. I yelled out, "MAMA HAS NO PATIENCE THERE WILL BE CANDY AT LUNCH!"
And there was. Along with left-over pizza. And raspberries and yogurt so we don't get rickets or scurvy.
I know friends and family with real problems and so mine are few. But by 1pm, I was done with all of it. Universe you won. I will stay home. I will roast pumpkins. I will accept that you have a pace set for me today.
