(no subject)

I may have an inner-ear infection. I am certainly showing all the signs of it. (I am seeing the Doctor on Monday to confirm things and maybe get something to deal with the stomach aches as my brain is not sending the right messages.) I am dealing with it to the best of my ability. The vertigo is a bother. The hardest part is dealing with the anxiety attacks that come with it. It takes a lot of energy to talk myself down. "It's okay. It's just that. You aren't dying. It's going to be okay. Let's go for a walk, or do all of the laundry. You have to breathe now."
All that energy spent on making yourself okay. I am worn out. At least most of the laundry is put away. I am queen of the laundry. It was sunny today and there was a breeze. This meant I could get a lot of laundry on and off the line in record time. As I took down the last load at dusk, I watched a murmuration. The birds started off in the trees. They made A LOT of noise. It was a cocktail party gone off the rails. Then suddenly they went quiet. (SHIT... it's the cops.) Then they started up again and then swooped off across the sky.

I made things. I tidied things. I went for a walk. I am going to take a bath and read a soothing book. I am going to wear my brain out.