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strength power humility
Jun. 9th, 2016 10:55 amI have become my Mother. I mean this in a good way. But it was a funny moment when I realized I was employing some of her tactics and words. I said to Mr. Jenner later on, "OMG... these words.... they came out of my mouth. Words I remember hearing as a child. Damn. My Mom was GOOD!"
Let me preface this by saying that Miss Biscuit is a pretty well behaved kid. Really. And in some ways it is hard to come down on her when she messes up because when she realizes she has done something wrong it crushes her. (which reminds me of my sister when she was a child.)
Yesterday afternoon while I was getting tea and biscuits, the kids were telling me about their day. Miss Biscuit said, "E. and I did something kinda naughty. We were very cheeky." I said, "oh? I hope you weren't naughty." I said this absent-mindedly as I poured tea, not really thinking about it. Suddenly she went quiet. I asked, "What did you guys do?" and she didn't want to say and I pointed out that telling the truth will always benefit her. It may hurt a little at first but it makes life a lot easier. With a bit of encouragement, she told me how E. had this idea to write a letter to their teaching assistant and in this letter (Miss Biscuit was given the job of writing the letter for E. as Miss Biscuit has neater hand-writing and knows how to spell more words. JESUS CHRIST E.) they accuse a classmate of hiding/pilfering pink paper in his tray.
Side note: The kid they accuse is kind of a rowdy but still very sweet boy. Miss Biscuit has commented a few times that this boy is naughty. I always tell her, "Even if someone is naughty, they likely have a good heart and you must be kind to them. He isn't a bad kid. He is still learning how to harness all of that energy." (which is true. More than anything he is a five year old kid who is extra wiggly and easily distracted. He isn't mean at all.)
I asked Miss Biscuit, "did he actually hide/steal this paper?"
She said, "no... I don't think so."
"So why did you guys accuse him of such a thing? That is rather cruel. He could get into trouble for something he didn't do. Why would you want to hurt someone like that? When adults do things like that, (which is wrong) they have ruined other people's lives. I am kind of surprised you did that kid. You are usually so kind and have such a tender heart."
And then she began to sob. It seems this had been E's idea. And Miss Biscuit thought it was a funny game.
Ooooh boy.
Miss Biscuit was completely and utterly crushed and spent the afternoon in a state. She was too ashamed to look at me. I told her that she wasn't a bad kid. But she needed to tell the teaching assistant the truth. Miss Biscuit was terrified. I told her that I would go with her, and help her tell the truth. I pointed out that she would get in less trouble if she was honest and that she would be doing the right thing by standing up for someone. Sometimes doing the right thing is scary and hard. But it has to be done because that is who we are as a family.
We hugged. A lot. She was scared this morning. But the teaching assistant said that Miss Biscuit had done the right thing. And the teaching assistant could see that Miss Biscuit was mortified and told her she was proud of her for coming forward. (the teachers had seen the letter. I didn't ask but I would be curious to know what their reaction was.)
I feel kind of stuck in a way. I like E. I like E's Mum a lot. We get along well. And I don't want to say, "hey your child is acting in a super shady manner." I will leave the school to handle that. In the mean time I told Miss Biscuit that one shouldn't go along with everyone's ideas because some ideas can be terrible. And it is important to examine if they could harm someone.
Being a parent is freaking hard. Thankfully I learned a few good things from my Mom.
To pivot to slightly more fun things, Senor Onion had a blast at his math challenge day at the Eden Project earlier this week. All math, all the time. He told me how they got to do all these problems and puzzles in the morning, and then in the afternoon there was this scavenger/math trail all over the biomes. Some people won prizes but his group didn't but it didn't matter because he had fun AND everyone got a stuffed lion, and lion bar for their efforts. He is still thinking of a name for the lion. He came home pretty enthusiastic about the day and hopes he can do it again next year. YAY Math!
Let me preface this by saying that Miss Biscuit is a pretty well behaved kid. Really. And in some ways it is hard to come down on her when she messes up because when she realizes she has done something wrong it crushes her. (which reminds me of my sister when she was a child.)
Yesterday afternoon while I was getting tea and biscuits, the kids were telling me about their day. Miss Biscuit said, "E. and I did something kinda naughty. We were very cheeky." I said, "oh? I hope you weren't naughty." I said this absent-mindedly as I poured tea, not really thinking about it. Suddenly she went quiet. I asked, "What did you guys do?" and she didn't want to say and I pointed out that telling the truth will always benefit her. It may hurt a little at first but it makes life a lot easier. With a bit of encouragement, she told me how E. had this idea to write a letter to their teaching assistant and in this letter (Miss Biscuit was given the job of writing the letter for E. as Miss Biscuit has neater hand-writing and knows how to spell more words. JESUS CHRIST E.) they accuse a classmate of hiding/pilfering pink paper in his tray.
Side note: The kid they accuse is kind of a rowdy but still very sweet boy. Miss Biscuit has commented a few times that this boy is naughty. I always tell her, "Even if someone is naughty, they likely have a good heart and you must be kind to them. He isn't a bad kid. He is still learning how to harness all of that energy." (which is true. More than anything he is a five year old kid who is extra wiggly and easily distracted. He isn't mean at all.)
I asked Miss Biscuit, "did he actually hide/steal this paper?"
She said, "no... I don't think so."
"So why did you guys accuse him of such a thing? That is rather cruel. He could get into trouble for something he didn't do. Why would you want to hurt someone like that? When adults do things like that, (which is wrong) they have ruined other people's lives. I am kind of surprised you did that kid. You are usually so kind and have such a tender heart."
And then she began to sob. It seems this had been E's idea. And Miss Biscuit thought it was a funny game.
Ooooh boy.
Miss Biscuit was completely and utterly crushed and spent the afternoon in a state. She was too ashamed to look at me. I told her that she wasn't a bad kid. But she needed to tell the teaching assistant the truth. Miss Biscuit was terrified. I told her that I would go with her, and help her tell the truth. I pointed out that she would get in less trouble if she was honest and that she would be doing the right thing by standing up for someone. Sometimes doing the right thing is scary and hard. But it has to be done because that is who we are as a family.
We hugged. A lot. She was scared this morning. But the teaching assistant said that Miss Biscuit had done the right thing. And the teaching assistant could see that Miss Biscuit was mortified and told her she was proud of her for coming forward. (the teachers had seen the letter. I didn't ask but I would be curious to know what their reaction was.)
I feel kind of stuck in a way. I like E. I like E's Mum a lot. We get along well. And I don't want to say, "hey your child is acting in a super shady manner." I will leave the school to handle that. In the mean time I told Miss Biscuit that one shouldn't go along with everyone's ideas because some ideas can be terrible. And it is important to examine if they could harm someone.
Being a parent is freaking hard. Thankfully I learned a few good things from my Mom.
To pivot to slightly more fun things, Senor Onion had a blast at his math challenge day at the Eden Project earlier this week. All math, all the time. He told me how they got to do all these problems and puzzles in the morning, and then in the afternoon there was this scavenger/math trail all over the biomes. Some people won prizes but his group didn't but it didn't matter because he had fun AND everyone got a stuffed lion, and lion bar for their efforts. He is still thinking of a name for the lion. He came home pretty enthusiastic about the day and hopes he can do it again next year. YAY Math!
