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Today was a good and proper hate-spiral. From start to finish.
I haven't been sleeping well because I think I have some kind of allergy thing going on. It is lingering in my chest and so I do a lot of coughing at night when I sleep. (which makes for uneven sleep.) The first few nights I took a codeine (which is great.) Buuuuuuuuuuut that is pretty easy to get too comfortable to take. So I took something else. And propped myself up with many pillows. I don't think it is a cold. Because once I am up for the day I am mostly okay. Though I have this rough sounding cough that makes me sound as if I have been smoking for years, and I wake up with swollen glands in my neck. (like crazy swollen) but then that goes down after awhile. (and I drink a lot of water.) I don't even think it is worth going to the doctor because the GP would shrug their shoulders and say, "yeah..."
So I woke up in a state of blergh. Then I had to get the kids ready for their first day of school. Senor Onion was slightly grumpy and then the grump increased when we found that his shoes DID NOT FIT even though they fit three days ago. WHAT THE FUCK. I wanted to take a photo of him and his sister to send to my mom, and he refused to stand next to his sister. OMG. I rarely ever take his photo because I totally respect his privacy but jesus fucking christ kid... can you fucking pretend to be civilized for three minutes so your Grandma who adores you can see a photo of you??? I wasn't very patient with him. Oh... and my car was making this awful grinding noise when braking. Which it was a couple of months ago. (we had to replace the back brake pads) and this wasn't good. There was also a burning smell. So I was going to take it into town to the mechanic. Only there was a fuck ton of traffic. Like SO MUCH TRAFFIC. Because traffic controls were put up at this one spot. And JUST as I was about to move forward (and I had the right of way) this guy cut me off, and he did this sort of smile and wave as he did it. I suppose he didn't realize that I had the right of way, and I was just so done at that point that I flipped him off and I really don't do that. But FUCK THAT GUY. FUCK YOU GUY IN THE MAZDA. I should also mention I have wicked wicked cramps today. And it is humid. One should never ever have their period while it is humid out. The air was pressing on me. AND my tumble dryer is broken and the part was supposed to come today but it didn't. Because why should it. WHY THE FUCK SHOULD ANY FUCKING FUCKO DO THEIR JOB AND MAKE SURE A PART GETS SENT OUT IN A TIMELY FASHION AND WHY SHOULD PEOPLE MAKE PHONE CALLS AND OMG ENGLAND YOU PEOPLE LACK ANY WORK ETHIC AND I HATE ALL YOUR BASTARD FACES.
*takes a deep breath*
I take the car into the mechanic. They are busy. Very busy. But they are nice. And have ideas about what might be wrong. But they can't see me until Friday. I limp home. (a quick stop at the co-op to get things, so we don't starve) and it is all worthless.
At least the weather is decent so I can dry clothes. But everyone else sucks.
I have lost my wedding ring somewhere in the house.
SOMEWHERE. Because I am too dumb to own things. And maybe when people were being "helpful" with tidying at my daughter's birthday, they threw it away. And god damn... I am just so over everything right now.
Then I forgot that I was going to take the kids to my mother in law's for a belated birthday tea. fuck. I get a message from her, just as I sat down with a cup of tea, and things were beginning to feel okay. I told my mother in law, "Everything has gone awry so I don't think it will happen today." and while I don't think she intended to be passive-aggressive with her reply, it didn't leave me feeling generous. (I admit I have been letting something she said the other day to my daughter kind of sit around in my head because it sort of crossed a parental boundary and I am still trying to think about how to say, "hey back the heck off there." That is a tough one.) But I didn't say anything. I just said, "let's aim for tomorrow."
At least the people at the American embassy were helpful and useful today. Fuck yeah America! They are my peeps. They were also excellent yesterday when we visited them in person. (I will talk more about our quick trip to London once I have had dinner and I feel less violent.)
I haven't been sleeping well because I think I have some kind of allergy thing going on. It is lingering in my chest and so I do a lot of coughing at night when I sleep. (which makes for uneven sleep.) The first few nights I took a codeine (which is great.) Buuuuuuuuuuut that is pretty easy to get too comfortable to take. So I took something else. And propped myself up with many pillows. I don't think it is a cold. Because once I am up for the day I am mostly okay. Though I have this rough sounding cough that makes me sound as if I have been smoking for years, and I wake up with swollen glands in my neck. (like crazy swollen) but then that goes down after awhile. (and I drink a lot of water.) I don't even think it is worth going to the doctor because the GP would shrug their shoulders and say, "yeah..."
So I woke up in a state of blergh. Then I had to get the kids ready for their first day of school. Senor Onion was slightly grumpy and then the grump increased when we found that his shoes DID NOT FIT even though they fit three days ago. WHAT THE FUCK. I wanted to take a photo of him and his sister to send to my mom, and he refused to stand next to his sister. OMG. I rarely ever take his photo because I totally respect his privacy but jesus fucking christ kid... can you fucking pretend to be civilized for three minutes so your Grandma who adores you can see a photo of you??? I wasn't very patient with him. Oh... and my car was making this awful grinding noise when braking. Which it was a couple of months ago. (we had to replace the back brake pads) and this wasn't good. There was also a burning smell. So I was going to take it into town to the mechanic. Only there was a fuck ton of traffic. Like SO MUCH TRAFFIC. Because traffic controls were put up at this one spot. And JUST as I was about to move forward (and I had the right of way) this guy cut me off, and he did this sort of smile and wave as he did it. I suppose he didn't realize that I had the right of way, and I was just so done at that point that I flipped him off and I really don't do that. But FUCK THAT GUY. FUCK YOU GUY IN THE MAZDA. I should also mention I have wicked wicked cramps today. And it is humid. One should never ever have their period while it is humid out. The air was pressing on me. AND my tumble dryer is broken and the part was supposed to come today but it didn't. Because why should it. WHY THE FUCK SHOULD ANY FUCKING FUCKO DO THEIR JOB AND MAKE SURE A PART GETS SENT OUT IN A TIMELY FASHION AND WHY SHOULD PEOPLE MAKE PHONE CALLS AND OMG ENGLAND YOU PEOPLE LACK ANY WORK ETHIC AND I HATE ALL YOUR BASTARD FACES.
*takes a deep breath*
I take the car into the mechanic. They are busy. Very busy. But they are nice. And have ideas about what might be wrong. But they can't see me until Friday. I limp home. (a quick stop at the co-op to get things, so we don't starve) and it is all worthless.
At least the weather is decent so I can dry clothes. But everyone else sucks.
I have lost my wedding ring somewhere in the house.
SOMEWHERE. Because I am too dumb to own things. And maybe when people were being "helpful" with tidying at my daughter's birthday, they threw it away. And god damn... I am just so over everything right now.
Then I forgot that I was going to take the kids to my mother in law's for a belated birthday tea. fuck. I get a message from her, just as I sat down with a cup of tea, and things were beginning to feel okay. I told my mother in law, "Everything has gone awry so I don't think it will happen today." and while I don't think she intended to be passive-aggressive with her reply, it didn't leave me feeling generous. (I admit I have been letting something she said the other day to my daughter kind of sit around in my head because it sort of crossed a parental boundary and I am still trying to think about how to say, "hey back the heck off there." That is a tough one.) But I didn't say anything. I just said, "let's aim for tomorrow."
At least the people at the American embassy were helpful and useful today. Fuck yeah America! They are my peeps. They were also excellent yesterday when we visited them in person. (I will talk more about our quick trip to London once I have had dinner and I feel less violent.)
