gfrancie | and that's another thing.

It is the same old same old. I have much to say but it is incredibly difficult to find a way to lay it all out. Swirling mind but no organization.
So instead I cook. I cook because I can accomplish something and there is order. It can make me feel satisfied at the end of the day when everything else disappoints or exhausts me.
Yesterday afternoon I baked a yellow butter cake and put a french silk frosting on top. I admit the cake is sort of boring in flavor. I kept thinking as it was baking that I should have added some sort of spice, extract or something... A good base cake. I think maybe next time I should figure out a way to add blood oranges.
This afternoon I have made a sausage and mushroom quiche with gruyere and chevre. With that I will serve sauteed leeks and apples with thyme and some sort of starch. Probably potatoes.
Yesterday I grilled sausages and mushrooms and served that with herbed polenta and a spinach salad with dried fruit and pine nuts.
I also read and listen to the radio. So for now I sort of inhale ideas and then someday I will be able to say something.
Maybe.

Yesterday was one of those truly exhausting/frustrating days as a parent. I do want to say that while being a parent can be incredibly satisfying, exciting and entertaining; it can be mind-numbingly dull, irritating and just plain no fun at all.
To anyone who is thinking about having children in the future I will say this, sure you might know how to take care of a small human being but it is soooooooooo emotionally exhausting. Nothing can really ever prepare you for that. Even if you have an easy one on your hands. Sure they aren't mobile at this point but they take all of the time. It is their business to be selfish. And a fair portion of the time you have to set aside your needs for theirs. If you have a real problem with "going with the flow" and giving up control -it can be even more difficult. You have to ride out the daily banal chaos. Think about this. I am not trying to tell people "don't have babies" but think long and fucking hard about this.
Don't expect it to make your relationship with your partner super awesome. (because for many couples it can put some new exciting stresses on things) Don't expect it to make you a better person.
Babies aren't some kind of self-help project like taking pilates or doing kabbalah.
It is this constantly crazy balancing act. You have to maintain some shreds of your sanity so that you can be a parent but at the same time you ignore a lot of your old routine so you can make sure this small wiggly person is attended to.
Early on you are lucky if you can get out of your pajamas. So if you think "oh hey I will write that book while I am at home with little Methuselah or wee Ingeborge" or some other batch of crazy -good luck.
If this scares the crap out of you? Stick with cats. or Sea monkeys.

Alex has discovered the extreme hilarity that is peek-a-boo. Comedy Gold in his world. As is "let's pull Mummy's lips off."
Alex was given this little stuffed hippo that is chartreuse (the only appropriate description of the color of the hippo) and has pink eyes. Kind of a psychedelic hippo. I named him Frank after Frank Zappa. Frank doesn't make scary noises so he stays. Unlike the evil lion.