gfrancie: (notorious)
[personal profile] gfrancie
On the plane back from the land of sausages and mash I watched the movie Eat, Pray, Love, Fart... scratch. You know that movie. The one based on the book of that lady who got a book advance to go and find herself because she realized one day that she didn't want to be married to her husband. I don't begrudge her for waking up and realizing that she didn't want to be married to her husband because stuff like that happens. Marriages end for a variety of reasons and people (hopefully) get on with their lives and find some sort of contentment along the way. It can be hard that a marriage ends in that fashion but it is what it is. The whole "getting a book advance" to find herself is a bit much though. Most people don't have that luxury. Most people have to go and find a new place to live, deal with paperwork and figure out who gets the kitchen-aid mixer.

The movie was kind of interesting but mostly I found myself wanting to smack the main character around. It was a bit like someone had made a movie of Stuff White People Like. I am a white-ish person (technically mixed race like most Americans but I look mostly white and I aware of my privilege that come with my hue-related status) and I like stuff. (scarves, farmers markets, Oscar parties) Which is fine. Gotta know who you are and be cool with it. After all I was born and bred on the West Coast of the United States, raised in a fairly arty town on a healthy diet of liberation theology and non-sugary cereals. I am going to be inclined to listen to the occasional bit of World music and proclaim my love of Pho like I "discovered" it or something.
I did like Richard Jenkins' character in the Pray section of the movie. He is one of those reliable "Hey it's that guy" character actors. He could show up and give weight and meaning to a commercial for Tide laundry soap. I suppose the main character eventually dealt with her pile of stuff but not everyone gets to travel to exotic locations and listen to the wisdom of others about dealing with your nonsense and being a grown-up. Maybe that is my beef. Some people have to sit at home and do the dishes and learn how to forgive and grieve and acknowledge their weaknesses and also come to terms with what is awesome about their self and being vulnerable to love again and finding pleasure in everyday life. They don't get to hang out in Bali or see ancient ruins. whatever.

That being said there was some stuff in the Eat section of the film that I found kind of interesting. It kind of awoke some stuff in me; especially after a conversation with my Mother and sister. There was a whole thing where the main character and her friend are eating delicious Italian food and the one friend is afraid to eat because, "OMG she gained a few pounds." The main character talked about all the time spent in her life counting calories and worrying and eating the salad and essentially being scared of food and not truly enjoying it. And then there was another part of the film where she was talking about feeling guilty for eating all this delicious food and OMG isn't she so bad. Her Italian friends pointed out that "you Americans know entertainment but you don't know pleasure." And gave her a ration of crap about making food sinful or guilt-worthy. I realized in that moment that I don't really feel that way about food. I don't make comments about being so crazy/dangerous/bad because I am eating a slice of cake or something that might have some extra calories. I realized much of that goes back to my Mother. I remember we were having dinner together (I was probably eleven or twelve at the time) at some restaurant and I said something about some dish being so sinful and she said, "No it isn't. This (and she was paraphrasing Ben Franklin -one of my favorite poonhounds of the American revolution) is a sign that God love you and wants you to be happy." She made a very distinct point that good food was never ever a bad thing. She never laid into us about not eating something because it was bad bad bad. She grew up with a Mother who gave her a proper head trip about food/weight and so on and I know my Mom made it her mission not to hand that particular thing onto my sister and I. It wasn't like she didn't teach us to take care of ourselves and to not eat well -because she did. She made it a point to teach us about the pleasure of eating and cooking. I often wondered about why my Grandma was so worked up about my Mother and food and it wasn't until recently that my Mom said that Grandma always felt big. Grandma wasn't big. She (like my Mother) had a powerful presence and gave off the impression of being... tall/powerful. I remember being surprised that she was only 5'4 because she always seemed... taller and magnificent. Yet Grandma obviously had some self-image issues. Which is kind of funny. She also loved to eat/cook good food and when I would visit her she would make wonderful things and encourage me to enjoy everything. It was intriguing to see how that stuff can be passed down so easily.
I am thankful my Mother decided to end that. I find the idea of applying such morality to food to be a dull way to spend life. Some of it may be my anxiety induced sense of mortality but all I can think is, "time is so short, I want all of it to be exciting and good." I think I only feel guilt when I eat crappy food. I suspect this is why I avoid places like Applebees. I just don't have the energy to look at a beautiful piece of pie and think "I will regret this". Maybe it is like sex. I have only ever regretted sex when it was bad. Good...I will brag about it.

Which brings me to another recent realization about food and self-image and all that dreary fun stuff. I was struck in some random moment that I don't hate my body. Sure there are bits of it that make me go, "what happened there...oh yeah child-birth/age." I may not be a size two but my body works pretty well for the most part and it is all right. I spent plenty of years hating the sight of myself and now I think, "I am all right. and I am pretty comfortable with it."

Now to eat some toast!

Date: 2011-01-24 07:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amamama.livejournal.com
Havent' seen the movie, but have read the book. Which I quite like. And I don't quite get why she geta all this flack (not getting at you here, it's just that I've noticed a lot of this in the media lately) about recieving the advance payment. She was already a published author, many published authors get just that.

So, anyway, your mum is awesome! But you knew that, already, didn't you? It's important to be able to enjoy food. *nods*

Date: 2011-01-24 08:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gfrancie.livejournal.com
I just wonder if she recognizes the luxury of her position.

Date: 2011-01-24 11:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] epiphany.livejournal.com
I'm really puzzled by your reaction. She is a successful author who created a way for herself to take a year off to experience life and write a book about it and it ended up being a run away best seller and made her tons of money. Do you feel she should feel guilty about it because not everyone is doing that?

Date: 2011-01-24 11:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gfrancie.livejournal.com
She doesn't need to feel guilty but I suspect how it was marketed kind of makes me feel like she doesn't see how she is in a very lucky position that many people aren't it. And again it could just be the marketing of things.

Date: 2011-01-24 11:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] epiphany.livejournal.com
Check out the TED talk link Sarah just posted. It might give you a better feel for who she is as a person, aside from whatever the Julia Roberts movie made you think she might be.

And lots of us are in a very "lucky" position that many others aren't. You and I have a bed to sleep in, a roof over our heads, plenty of food to eat and people that we love and care for who love and care for us. There are many, many people who don't have that.

Date: 2011-01-25 12:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gfrancie.livejournal.com
Yes. I think that might be the difference. As a person she is well-rounded and inspires a little more... interest. But in the film I didn't find that the character inspired much sympathy. I don't know if it was the writing/acting/directing.

Date: 2011-01-24 08:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] epiphany.livejournal.com
So you find her annoying because she's a successful author who figured out how to take a year off to travel and write a book?

Date: 2011-01-24 08:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gfrancie.livejournal.com
I am mostly entertained that she had to go far and wide to figure out some stuff that many people figure out in their everyday life.

Date: 2011-01-24 11:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] epiphany.livejournal.com
I guess it's all in how you interpret it, but that wasn't what I got from the movie at all.

She realized that she had to change and part of her dream had always been to travel, so she did. To me it's one woman's story of her insights along the way.

Date: 2011-01-24 08:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gfrancie.livejournal.com
and it isn't like I am opposed to travel as being a means of englightenment... maybe it was the way the movie was done but people kept telling her, "hey you need to sort this shit out" and it seemed like the character didn't want to really listen. Like she had to run away and have the bluebird of happpiness experience. Which is okay. Some people need to do it.

Date: 2011-01-24 10:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] offensive-mango.livejournal.com
Ugh, that film was so white white white and selfish selfish selfish.

The weird thing about that "never feel bad about food!" bit was that she said "tomorrow we'll just go buy bigger jeans"--while the next scene saw them CRAMMING THEMSELVES INTO TINY JEANS THAT THEY COULDN'T ZIP. Whaaaa?

Date: 2011-01-24 11:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gfrancie.livejournal.com
Yeah I didn't quite understand that part. Unless they couldn't find jeans that fit?

Date: 2011-01-25 05:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] far-gone.livejournal.com
I thought the Big Jeans part was hilarious! They were tinier jeans than I could ever ever wear! I used to have a chef boyfriend who had Big Pants for big foodie events or weekends or months. He loved food and loved sharing it and would say "don't sweat it, just get some Big Pants!" Loved him!

Date: 2011-01-25 07:31 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-01-24 11:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cigale.livejournal.com
I always feel sad for people that only see food as nutrition and not as a pleasure. My american co-workers (male and female) are often saying how they shouldn't eat this or that *sigh*.
Glad things went awesomely at pre-school! And one question, are you going to see the firemen, err I mean the fire station too?

Date: 2011-01-24 11:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gfrancie.livejournal.com
Hee.
Dude. I am BRINGING treats for the firemen. Senor Onion's friend's Dad is a firemen so that is why we get to visit the place.

Date: 2011-01-24 11:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cigale.livejournal.com
Sweet treats for the firemen! Very smooth lady, very smooth.

Date: 2011-01-24 11:23 pm (UTC)
ext_32794: (Default)
From: [identity profile] sahara-harp.livejournal.com
Haven't read the book or seen the movie, but I really enjoyed a TED talk by Elizabeth Gilbert on creativity. She doesn't seem like a spoiled "lucky" person, she seems like a smart, successful, creative one. It seems like there is a lot of resentment/irritation/judgment about her form and path of enlightenment and understanding, which I can see how that occurs.

Date: 2011-01-25 12:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jessica-dwg.livejournal.com
Love this. I have many thoughts on the subject of food and pleasure, but I will refrain from making a rambly post-about-me. I will say that coming to a place where food does not equal morality took a looong time for me, and you were given a great gift by your mother. Yet another reason to bow down at the altar of her awesomeness.

Date: 2011-01-25 05:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] far-gone.livejournal.com
I love this post and I love what your mother gave you! You articulate something important that I'm trying to give my kids! On the other hand I do worry sometimes that I overdo it and they'll wind up with the food=love neurosis.

Your reaction to EPL is similar to mine for Under the Tuscan Sun. Oh, I'm just a poor teacher, let me move to Italy and re-do a little house with the charming locals. I drove past the house and it was a hilltop estate that had to have been a million dollars even if it was a dump. Don't act like you're just anyone, and everybody has the option to check out and travel/renovate for a year, because these little flights of fancy have some serious financing behind them. /rantover

Date: 2011-01-25 05:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gfrancie.livejournal.com
Hee.
I am sure we all give our kids something.

Under the Tuscan Sun always cracked me up for that very reason. "How can a teacher afford that???"

Date: 2011-01-25 05:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gfrancie.livejournal.com
Plus there was a touch of that "noble savage" stuff in regards to the locals.

Date: 2011-01-25 06:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitchenwitch.livejournal.com
The way your mother taught you about food is something I am trying to do with my kids. My sister and her girlfriend came to visit last weekend, and my sister is on a pretty strict, self-imposed diet. Every mention of food came with it details about calories and fat and whether or not she was allowed to have it. I can't imagine raising a child with that mindset. What a way to screw 'em up.

Date: 2011-01-25 07:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emmabovary.livejournal.com
I read kilometers of weight loss/maintenance blogs, all written by Americans. (I'd be hard-pressed to find the equivalent authored by a French person/) The black/white moral issues surrounding what they eat and don't eat is jaw-dropping. You must be the only American left who enjoys their food.

Date: 2011-01-25 08:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] far-gone.livejournal.com
And then you go out to restaurants and the portion sizes are Big As Your Head! I ordered lax and bagels at the hotel in NYC last week and I kid you not it was about 8" high and a plateful.

Date: 2011-01-25 09:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emmabovary.livejournal.com
So true. And every time I eat lunch out--here in the Bastille neighborhood---I see Frenchwomen enjoying and savoring their starter, their main and their dessert. Never hear them say "Oh, I shouldn't!". The three courses are normal-sized, delicious, and satisfying. They are eaten with great joy and no guilt.

Date: 2011-01-25 07:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emmabovary.livejournal.com
Yesterday I was at the hospital for my six-month post surgery check up. The French lady next to me in the waiting chairs was reading EPL in English. I wanted to say to her hey we aren't all like that but knowing how reserved the French are, my intrusion would seem rude. But the entire time she was reading I was just so....embarassed about being American.

Date: 2011-01-25 08:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] epiphany.livejournal.com
I felt that way after watching the second Sex & The City movie.

Date: 2011-01-25 03:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] neptunia67.livejournal.com
I came to your LJ by way of [livejournal.com profile] far_gone and loved this post and your profile. Do you mind if I add you to my friends list?

Date: 2011-01-25 03:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] neptunia67.livejournal.com
I have to admit though that I'm currently on weight watchers and do mention it sometimes but I don't dwell on body issues at all, really, for the most part.

Date: 2011-01-25 04:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gfrancie.livejournal.com
I never have a problem with someone's own personal journey with weight-loss. I kind of view that as a personal thing. Like religion or politics.

Date: 2011-01-25 04:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gfrancie.livejournal.com
Friend away as I like to say! Nice to meet you.

Date: 2011-01-25 04:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] needlediva.livejournal.com
i was thinking of going to Port Hadlock for enlightenment. also some fish n chips.
cause that's how we find nirvana out here in the sticks.

Date: 2011-01-25 04:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gfrancie.livejournal.com
Well the fish'n'chips are that good.

Date: 2011-01-25 06:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] needlediva.livejournal.com
true enlightenment comes from fish n chips at sea jay's, but it's not something we tell the visitors about.
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