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gfrancieI wrestle with the cooking. Some of it is good. Some of it is frustrating. I want to concentrate on things and it seems like my brain or the world keeps making it this irritating task. I am trying to find the flow once again with pastry. Normally I can make pastry dough in my sleep but for some reason it isn't happening. My mince pies aren't as lovely as they usually are and it makes me so angry and sometimes a little suicidal. Not in a serious way. There were times when I wished that I didn't automatically pour so much of my self and my love and all my emotion into what I make for people. I desire perfection. I am filling with immense doubt about what I create. I always feel like I need to apologize if something isn't absolutely spot-on gorgeous and the ideal object.
I wonder if all of the self-doubt is invading my food. I look at things and wonder if I am losing my mind.
I desperately want to concentrate and I am faced with the reality that I have to divide so much of my attention. I want some noise-canceling headphones and the time to play with the pastry. I have my suspicions. I just crave the time to have that complete thought.
SQUIRREL!
My brother is here. It is a bit like locusts visiting. He is eating everything. EVERYTHING. I find myself keeping an eye out for when he goes into the kitchen. "what are you eating? Remember some of that stuff is for Christmas." I made an enormous lamb stew for dinner and now it is all gone. At least he appreciates all that food. I know there is food in New York. I've been there. I did a lot of eating there. Did he eat all of New York's food?
He and I went out tonight to Elliott Bay Books (Tom had to do Christmas shopping) and as we were walking toward the book shop I looked at this other guy walking near us and realized it was our brother Mike. I started to wave to Mike and Tom leapt on him like a crazy person. Mike couldn't quite see who it was and was a little startled when some skinny dude was trying to go after him. That is how one should say hello to their siblings -by scaring the crap out of them. Mike was on his way to get cheap delicious burritos. We had a brief chat and then went on our merry way. I helped Tom find a wide assortment of inexpensive gifts. (btw everyone, you are getting bookmarks) Mike stopped by again to say hello now that he had his delicious cheap burrito. Nice to see siblings under pleasant lighting. A quick discussion of who is going where and when and when I will expect Mike on Saturday. Mike has to work a Seahawks game on Christmas Eve, so he will be coming over to our place once he is done standing out in the cold. (he works security. That's right. He babysits the drunks)
Miss Biscuit's response to seeing her Uncle Tom is pure terror. The last time she saw him she was a tiny thing and obviously doesn't remember him. She kept saying he was scary. I respected that because hey those are her feelings. She got more comfortable as the day went on but she needs to have Mr. Jenner or I in her line of sight if my brother is in the room. Senor Onion on the other hand thinks Uncle Tom is hilarious and full of nonsense. My kid is the world's biggest skeptic when it comes to the silliness that Uncle Tom tries to deliver. Though that skepticism extends to a lot of things these days. Senor Onion is employing the phrase, "is that really real?" when coming across something he isn't sure of.
Right now Mr. Jenner is reading the book, "The House that Sailed Away" (a favorite of mine from childhood) and Mr. Jenner is very patient about Senor Onion's many questions about the reality of such a thing as a house sailing away ever happening and the particulars that might cause it and how a house is put together and so on. He wants very much to have a firm grasp of reality and all the inner workings that might go with it. He must know how everything works and he likes to figure out how to put things together. His greatest source of pride was taking an old cd walkman of mine and figuring out how to put it back together again. If you ever want to entertain him, give him bits of electronic junk and he will play for hours. Listening to him come up with ideas about how things work is wonderful.
Miss Biscuit seems to want to spend the day singing, undecorating the tree, (still) and figuring out the alphabet She knows the letters and it makes reading to her an extra long task as she wants to point out the letters to everything. EVERYTHING. "E" "Yes that's an E" "V" "hrm..yes." "I SAID VEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" "I know. It is the letter V." You have to acknowledge her or she will become quite short with you and you do not want the withering gaze of one Miss Biscuit.
I could go for a cookie right now. Oh look I have some. Magic I tell you.
I wonder if all of the self-doubt is invading my food. I look at things and wonder if I am losing my mind.
I desperately want to concentrate and I am faced with the reality that I have to divide so much of my attention. I want some noise-canceling headphones and the time to play with the pastry. I have my suspicions. I just crave the time to have that complete thought.
SQUIRREL!
My brother is here. It is a bit like locusts visiting. He is eating everything. EVERYTHING. I find myself keeping an eye out for when he goes into the kitchen. "what are you eating? Remember some of that stuff is for Christmas." I made an enormous lamb stew for dinner and now it is all gone. At least he appreciates all that food. I know there is food in New York. I've been there. I did a lot of eating there. Did he eat all of New York's food?
He and I went out tonight to Elliott Bay Books (Tom had to do Christmas shopping) and as we were walking toward the book shop I looked at this other guy walking near us and realized it was our brother Mike. I started to wave to Mike and Tom leapt on him like a crazy person. Mike couldn't quite see who it was and was a little startled when some skinny dude was trying to go after him. That is how one should say hello to their siblings -by scaring the crap out of them. Mike was on his way to get cheap delicious burritos. We had a brief chat and then went on our merry way. I helped Tom find a wide assortment of inexpensive gifts. (btw everyone, you are getting bookmarks) Mike stopped by again to say hello now that he had his delicious cheap burrito. Nice to see siblings under pleasant lighting. A quick discussion of who is going where and when and when I will expect Mike on Saturday. Mike has to work a Seahawks game on Christmas Eve, so he will be coming over to our place once he is done standing out in the cold. (he works security. That's right. He babysits the drunks)
Miss Biscuit's response to seeing her Uncle Tom is pure terror. The last time she saw him she was a tiny thing and obviously doesn't remember him. She kept saying he was scary. I respected that because hey those are her feelings. She got more comfortable as the day went on but she needs to have Mr. Jenner or I in her line of sight if my brother is in the room. Senor Onion on the other hand thinks Uncle Tom is hilarious and full of nonsense. My kid is the world's biggest skeptic when it comes to the silliness that Uncle Tom tries to deliver. Though that skepticism extends to a lot of things these days. Senor Onion is employing the phrase, "is that really real?" when coming across something he isn't sure of.
Right now Mr. Jenner is reading the book, "The House that Sailed Away" (a favorite of mine from childhood) and Mr. Jenner is very patient about Senor Onion's many questions about the reality of such a thing as a house sailing away ever happening and the particulars that might cause it and how a house is put together and so on. He wants very much to have a firm grasp of reality and all the inner workings that might go with it. He must know how everything works and he likes to figure out how to put things together. His greatest source of pride was taking an old cd walkman of mine and figuring out how to put it back together again. If you ever want to entertain him, give him bits of electronic junk and he will play for hours. Listening to him come up with ideas about how things work is wonderful.
Miss Biscuit seems to want to spend the day singing, undecorating the tree, (still) and figuring out the alphabet She knows the letters and it makes reading to her an extra long task as she wants to point out the letters to everything. EVERYTHING. "E" "Yes that's an E" "V" "hrm..yes." "I SAID VEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" "I know. It is the letter V." You have to acknowledge her or she will become quite short with you and you do not want the withering gaze of one Miss Biscuit.
I could go for a cookie right now. Oh look I have some. Magic I tell you.
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no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 06:44 am (UTC)HEE. See, this is someone I could get on with, having something of that mindset myself. (See this is virtually a word-for-word description of my childhood.)
no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 05:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 06:59 pm (UTC)In the parenthetical aside, I meant that he is starting off the same way I did with the taking things apart and putting them together. It is a time-worn way into science and engineering and if he stays on that path, I will not be surprised when he ends up in one of those fields. (Scientist/engineer friends who did this sort of thing number at least five. Lots of them played with fire and explosives too so watch out! ;-)
no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 07:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 07:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 01:53 pm (UTC)and this entry made me smile. I just love the description.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 05:51 pm (UTC)Though knowing him he would just say, "yeah I could go for more."
He has eaten a whole chicken.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 03:10 pm (UTC)Wouldn't it be such a relief to be one of those monks chopping vegetables in Into Great Silence? That's the sort of peacefulness I find myself craving now and again - and I don't even have to constantly wrangle two small children like you do.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 05:51 pm (UTC)Though I think, "JUST pretty good? IT MUST BE THE BEST"
That was one of my favorite parts of that documentary.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 03:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 05:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-22 03:31 pm (UTC)i was terrified of a couple of uncles as a child. i think it had to do with their brand of humor. it didn't help that one called me a monkey and was the master of THE CLAW. judging from the bookstore story, tom sounds similar. goodluck, miss biscuit.
i'm excited that one of the gifts we're getting for oliver (via brian's mother) is called Snap Circuits Jr. i wonder if senor onion would enjoy something like that. perhaps the non-jr version. it's the only plastic, battery-operated toy i've ever been excited about. he's also getting a little erector set that will probably be too hard for him.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-22 11:30 pm (UTC)Miss Biscuit loves and adores her Uncle G. (my youngest brother) But then he baby-sits her a couple of hours once a week so she is familiar with him. He is more of a quiet sort. (he is your typical Scandinavian bachelor) Uncle Tom is definitely more... extreme. But hey Senor Onion likes him. My brother Tom is a very sweet uncle and loves his niece and nephew a lot and Miss Biscuit did warm to him after a day or so.
Funny that you mention that toy. I saw that as well and suggested it as a gift to my inlaws so they got it for Senor Onion. The reviews were good and I like open-ended/creative toys like that. Mr. Jenner recalls playing with the slightly older version of the same toy when he was a kid. (in England it is called Mecano) It is a good toy to grow into.