so what if I have horrible cramps, I don't want to talk about it.

[gfrancie]

Right now I wouldn't mind screaming and throwing some dishes. I.. I am reaching that heaving flames moment in the day/week/month. I am not sure.
My brother Tom was here for a night. Nice to see him, even if he is a bit intense but oh sweet jesus he wears this Axe Bodyspray and it is truly atrocious. I may have to break down and tell him to throw it away. He washed some clothes and tossed them in the dryer with something else I had forgotten about and now those items SMELL of that axe bodyspray and I have to wash things all over again to get that scent of... whatever out. TOM have some class. WEAR something decent. It smells of pimp and douchecanoes. Oh for the love of God, Tom you are not a douchecanoe. At least not often enough to sport that shit.

My Mom's harp has a string that broke, she had to order a new one from a place in Seattle. She asked if I could pick it up and hand it off to one of my brothers to take when they come to PT. I said sure because I figure one of my brothers could do that. Neither brother can. One brother went off to see friends elsewhere and isn't in the city. The other said, "sorry leaving for PT tonight."
ARGH. I am trying to help family out with assorted tasks and it seems like I face assorted battles in accomplishing things. Be it mailing Christmas cards for PEOPLE WHO FUCKING HAD ALL MONTH TO DO THIS SHIT MR. JENNER (because if those cards aren't sent, assorted Grandmas will wonder why I fell down on the job when it isn't my damn job because yo, archaic gender roles but whatever) or getting this important string to my Mom (since my car is being all fucked and doing god knows what so I can't take the day to drive the string to her) so she can play the harp on Christmas Eve for work. (she is a musician, this is her busy time of year and it should be noted I am not irritated with her because yo, I want to help my Mom out. Strings are important and she is a nice lady who listens to my moaning.)

I have wound up children I am trying to keep chill and they are having none of it.

I am thisclose to telling every single member of my family to go fuck themselves and then taking the credit card and going to Hawaii or something. Make your own fucking Christmas you assholes. JUST FUCK ALL Y'ALLS.

/drops mic

Comments

[neptunia67.livejournal.com]

Argh. Cramps make everything SO SHITTY. Sorry you're having to deal with all that.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

yep.
Gonna sell my uterus.
cheap.

[neptunia67.livejournal.com]

Put it on craigslist, you'll have it gone in no time.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Barely used,in good working condition. I can verify that it can carry humans to term. I will even throw in a batch of cookies to sweeten the deal.

[sallysimpleton.livejournal.com]

OMG, the bro situation with the harp string would make me livid.

Yesterday, after having read your too-real situation at the USPS, I was so relieved when a clerk at another store mentioned they sold stamps*. Oh, sweet baby Jesus lying in a manger, thank you.

*Typo! I seriously cannot operate the internet properly today. Maybe I shall go lie down. Or is it lay down? I don't even care about grammar now. Who have I become?

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

lay down, lie down. It's your choice.
fuck my head hurts.

[solar-diablo.livejournal.com]

Christmas in Maui GOD IF ONLY.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Imagine just sitting on the beach

[emily-swank.livejournal.com]

I'll take the string to your mom.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

awwww that is so kind. Thankfully two friends who have family there have said they can drop off the string.

[cutebutpsycho99.livejournal.com]

*applauds the performance*

I feel your pain. I've been trying to keep from killing everyone in my family. Since when did I have to buy ALL THE PRESENTS?

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

I am okay with buying all the presents (minus my own) because I have a pretty good idea about people. Also it tends to be quicker that way.

[eventide82.livejournal.com]

I feel for you. My family often leaves shit to the last minute too, and guess who does it so that Christmas is saved? This idiot, that's who. I'm slowly learning to let go.

Although we don't send out Christmas cards. Ever. Because my family has about twenty people in it. My husband's family has about 80 people in it (literally). There is no way in hell I am wasting time writing out 100 Christmas cards every year just because he doesn't. It's only year 2 of our marriage and I am making damn sure that is one role I do not take on.

I urge you to drink a big cocktail ASAP.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

I sometimes do it myself. I suspect a lot of it just had to do with the day and a wide assortment of challenges that didn't amuse me.
Oh man. 80. THAT would kill me.

[rebeccmeister.livejournal.com]

ughghghghg Axe Body Spray. Disgusting business. I would think he would know better.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

I am tempted to get him something quality like acqua di parma which smells lovely.

[athena.livejournal.com]

Do it. That was the only thing that finally got my brother off the Axe train. Subsequently, he ended up getting laid more as well. Best sister ever, right here.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Okay. so you KNOW what I am talking about. I will even get him samples from Sephora so he can see what suits him.

[athena.livejournal.com]

I most assuredly do. Sephora has the kits of different cologne with a gift card that might work. Although I didn't see it downtown. Also confiscate his deordorant. He might have it in the matching fragrance. Damn axe bastards.

[rebeccmeister.livejournal.com]

I just started a subscription to the New York Times. Today, they had an article about how Axe is making a fragrance for women. I am very afraid.

[needlediva.livejournal.com]

i may have to speak to the Boy about the body spray stuff. cause as i get older, that kind of thing tends to make me feel pretty gicky. and because i am old i can just say, "hey fella, that shit stinks. knock it off."
(a thousand thank yous, btw, for getting me the string. i had no idea it would grow so huge, especially considering the number of close personal relations [i.e. sons] that are traveling in this direction.)

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

I figure I can do it. I am the bossy big sister and therefore I tell everyone what for.

I wouldn't worry too much about the string. Kurt or Cece may bring the string to you. (on Friday) Kurt even offered to bring one from Portland since he is still down in Vancouver. You are that beloved.

I think I am on the same wave-length as the kids as one gets before Christmas. At least I can look forward to making lefse on Thursday. Yay lefse.

[ooxc.livejournal.com]

Sympathy about the cramps. I had to read the sentence "I have wound up children - " several times before I saw what you meant -
I still have a last pile of Christmas cards to post -

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Haha. I posted cards today as well.

[k425.livejournal.com]

In my first marriage a lot of the birthday and Christmas organisation fell to me. In my second? I buy some big envelopes to put things in. I have no idea whose birthdays fall when, OldBloke manages them all; and he sorts out Christmas for everyone too. Occasionally I am asked to buy something, but he tells me what and I go shopping on the way home from work. In return I give OB a pile of parcels to take to the post office for my side of the family!

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

OldBloke sounds like a useful sort. I don't mind sorting out Christmas for the most part, I have a knack for it. But it seems like you have hit upon a golden situation.

[k425.livejournal.com]

OldBloke is fantastic and should be cloned.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Mr. Jenner has many lovely qualities and I think I could make a mint cloning him. He is good at doing bills and the like. He is also very nice about removing mice when I was freaking out when we found one in the house. He also makes a great toad in the hole.

[k425.livejournal.com]

We need to breed them together!

[jillithian.livejournal.com]

The day of cramps always coincides with the most stressful week of the month. I'm right there with ya.

Also, my husband may have feared for his life this weekend - I bought all the presents, wrapped all the presents, bagged the presents to put in the car and he then forgot his wallet. Damn straight, I had brownies that day.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

at least he can say that he survived the weekend. With all of his limbs.

[amamama.livejournal.com]

Ouch. *hugs* And do tell your brother to stop that Axe stupidity. (Just as stupid as the feminine variety Impulse. In this house, we joke that "If a stranger suddenly knocks you down with an Axe, that's Impulse"). Grow up and get some class. *nods*

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

I am guessing he goes for it because it is cheap. (after all he is a poor actor)

[ms-pooka.livejournal.com]

oh no, axe body spray. the only people i have seen use it are two nephews who both started using it before the age of 10.

brian will pester me for weeks for gift wish lists for our children to give to his mother, going on about how it will be my fault if we (i) don't get it to her in time and she buys something plastic with batteries instead. and so i'll spend hours busting my hump searching for things and get him lists and a week later, he'll still be sitting on them. and will find a way to still say it will be my fault if she gets them something awful. sheesh.

and what the hell is going on with the lj comment format?

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Good question about LJ comment format. I don't care for it.

Brian may not live to see his next birthday if he keeps this nonsense up.

[k425.livejournal.com]

and what the hell is going on with the lj comment format?

It's been improved, so now you can't have a subject title for comments, or preview them before posting. Thanks, LJ designers, you did a great job there.

[ms-pooka.livejournal.com]

well what do you know. i was trying so hard to escape looking at it, that i completely missed all those wonderful new features.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

talk about, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." (JERKS)

[lurpak.livejournal.com]

I sympathise. It's tough being the big sister sometimes but does anyone ever thank you for it? huh! Hopefully your cramps will be gone by Christmas.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

I suspect my problem is that I make it look easy. I should carefully document the reality.