Cling to the tiny good things. Every fucking day.

[gfrancie]

I am battling this mid-level anxiety that won't fucking go away. No matter how much I try and shift my mind-set. It is kind of embarrassing, and it leaves me kind of stuck. Most tasks seem impossible. I cling to the little things.
Yesterday I learned to use a sewing machine, and I made a freaking lined bag, and a little make-up bag with a zip. Yes, I learned how to put in a zip. And I felt really proud for about five minutes. Then a drop in calm. Again.
Today I felt okay/safe when I was running. I was able to out-run that sense of impending doom. And then near the end my knee was acting up again. And I had to limp home. And there was that rise of anxiety again.
I am trying to do all the things I can to make it stop.
I emailed my driving instructor about booking my driving test. Even if I fail, at least I will have tried. And I will try again.
I need to finish writing a piece. And I know what I need to do. But I feel like I have to sneak up on it.
I have to sneak up on everything.
At the heart of things, I feel like such a fucking disappointment to the world at large. And I want to stop feeling all of this. That tiny rational part of me knows it is a lie. But it sure feels real right now. Very very real.

Comments

[sallysimpleton.livejournal.com]

I hear you.

[amamama.livejournal.com]

:-( Sad you're feeling like this, but it doesn't help much how I feel, does it? That would be a brilliant way of erasing those feelings from the world for good...

Instead, here are some links for you: Gwyneth Moss, a brilliant EFT'er who has helped my mum loads https://efthelps.com/ Gene Monterastelli, who as far as I can recall is helping Gwyneth (I got his address from mum some years ago, and he's good) http://tappingqanda.com/ and finally Prune Harris, who's been a great help to several in my family, both over the phone and showing up in person. She lives in Tywardeath in Cornwall http://www.imaginalhealth.com/

Because you really don't need to suffer (my daughter went to a new doc who's also skilled in hypnosis. Today she took a gazillion blood tests, without a fight, for the first time ever! Mindstuff works). I've had a lot of fab help from EFT myself. Totally worth it.

[cutebutpsycho99.livejournal.com]

I have no solutions or ideas on how to deal with it. All I can say is that I know exactly how you feel and what a bitch it is.

[neptunia67.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry. Nothing I can say to help, I know that but wanted to let you know I'm reading.