Another post where I let out my irritation. And yes it is about grocery stores.

I should know better than to go to Trader Joe's at certain hours. But I needed a few things for dinner last night so I went in the afternoon. I thought, "oh hey it is Sunday afternoon/early evening it won't be too crazy like a Saturday."
I was wrong.
Oh so wrong.
First I hate their parking garage. I absolutely hate it. It is so small and was designed by someone who assumed that everyone is driving one of those smart cars. It is difficult to explain the layout but it sort of feels like an Escher drawing. You never quite feel as if you are ever genuinely level but you are up but then it seems like you are down. So you have this Smartcar friendly schizo parking garage that is filled with SUVs -which are driven by impatient women who all dye their hair "honey-ash" or something. I admit our car doesn't have the tightest turning so now and then it can take some time to get into a parking spot. And then I am feeling pressure from Ingrid the angry behind me because I am not moving fast enough because by God she has to get her free trade coffee and artisan bread NOW. And there are people who are wandering around the garage casually like it is a cocktail party. There were these asshats who stood in the path of cars with their shopping cart -just talking. Apparently they couldn't move their Seneca Falls convention to a more appropriate location. Finally I lost patience, so I left the garage and actually found street parking.
Then it was time to enter Ye Olde Joe's shoppe of Traded Goods.
There was more calm and organization when people were fleeing Shanghai as the Japanese invaded.
I went to get some yogurt. They were out of half of the stuff I genuinely like and is good for Senor Onion. I did find a flavor that worked. This is a personal bitch of mine but why do most of the flavored yogurts -especially the ones marketed toward little kids have all this sugar in it??? There is a brand that look pretty cute and has some appealing flavors but it is all corn syrup and sugar.
And if a yogurt lacks the corn syrup then it is low-fat. (Senor Onion doesn't need to eat low-fat right now the lucky fiend)
Then I am fighting my way through an aisle trying to buy some damn olive oil.
We have indie hipster twits with their ironic mid-century hats and waxed up hair staring at the pasta like it is an enormous magic-eye painting. If they stare hard enough they will see the late Jeff Buckley's face telling them the secrets of the universe or something. "excuse me..." Nothing.
Their cart is blocking the way. Finally I just move the thing. They are taken out of their trance. "oh...sorry."
Yes. I bet you are.
Isn't there some art school you should be paying too much money to right now?
Then it is time to pick up some cheese. Sometimes you have to shove your way in like the banks are changing currency and oh no your rubles will be worthless. Hurry Ivan. Hurry. If I can't get in then I will go and wait on the line for bread and cabbage.
I suppose a lot of my angst lays with the fact that people tend to wander around with their carts like they are at some enormous pleasure gardens and they have to contemplate the japanese maples. I am cool with examining the products. But there is something so passive-aggressive about the nature of a lot of the shoppers and how they always leave their cart to one side -usually sideways, so people can't move freely. (that is if they haven't abandoned them in search of samples)
*mumbles incoherently*
I bought some chocolate. I earned it after wandering through the store and not beating someone senseless with a pack of frozen burritos.
To make sure I was glad to leave Trader Joe's, I had the lady behind me continuously elbow me in the back. I finally turned to her and said, "Is my back getting in the way?"
"oh...um...no. sorry I guess."
Apologizing isn't always a concrete endeavor is it.
*raises an eyebrow*
I got the hell out of that madhouse as fast as I could. I will stick to early morning visits.