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my thoughts.
Feb. 25th, 2010 02:18 pmYesterday morning when I was at the doctor I was perusing through some magazine about being pregnant/having a new baby. The choice of magazines in the waiting room wasn't exactly fabulous. I admit I am spoiled by my PT and OB/GYN who have GREAT magazines. I don't mind waiting for hours if there is a pile of People magazines to peruse. Mindless and fun to snark on.
So yes this magazine, I had a giggle when I took the "Do you have PPD?" quiz. Then there were the pages devoted to the stuff that is super awesome and much needed if you want your child to be the hippest baby on the block. The baby industry really knows how to prey on those who are expecting. It isn't even the usual "If you don't have this your baby will only go to community college and probably eat rocks." approach. That is old hat. The stuff for amateurs. Blah blah cones and rods, bright colors. Sure there is the next step up, the whole safety approach to selling. (which is smart in many ways. Obviously you don't want a death trap for a crib or stroller) But there is the new version of safety. "BPA and all that jazz." If your child even LOOKS in the general direction of a plastic toy? Well then they are going to end up only reading the works of Judith Krantz and have a job selling light-bulbs. Maybe. With a lot of therapy and shit." Then there is the final approach to selling. Lifestyle. It is appealing to the most amusing side of vanity. How to make your baby show the world how exquisite your taste is and what your feelings are on every subject. (extra points if there is irony involved) And some article of clothing or object will only cost you an arm and a leg. Thankyouverymuch.
I don't entirely mind if people have the money and want to buy this stuff because they think it is awesome. They just need to be honest with themselves about it. "I want to buy this so the world can see how clever I am." The baby doesn't need the shoes or the fur-trimmed blanket or the jaunty chapeau. (well they need a hat but not that one.)
The baby doesn't care. They show their appreciation for the money spent on the perfect outfit or the just-so sleep sack by spitting up on it. If they really like it, they will explode in their pants and possibly leave a stain that is nearly impossible to get out.
There is an interior design blog I like to read and there is a section devoted to children-related stuff. They have some neat ideas about crafts and how to make various things. They sometimes do room tours and they crack me up. There are these baby rooms sooooo carefully done up before the kid is born. So much effort and love has been put into this and that is great. People should look forward to the arrival of this person. But there is a part of me that thinks sometimes, "I sure hope that baby has good coloring because otherwise that baby will look awfully sallow in that room." But again a parent must be honest. That room is more for the parent than the baby.
I don't want to appear to cynical. Maybe the laundry has killed my soul over the years. I love dressing up my kids and finding them fun things to wear. I like something that wears well but I also graciously accept other things that may not always be my immediate style because the gifts have been given with love. And when I am doing the buying, I don't like to pay full retail for clothing that might only last a month or two. (especially with Miss Biscuit who goes through clothes the way Liz Taylor has gone through husbands) Plus I don't think the world needs another baby with an "opinion" on the subject of poop, politics or milk.
Babies are like a number of men I have known. Provide food, a place to sleep, some comfortable warm clothes that don't pinch and a pair of breasts to cuddle up to and everything else is fine.
So yes this magazine, I had a giggle when I took the "Do you have PPD?" quiz. Then there were the pages devoted to the stuff that is super awesome and much needed if you want your child to be the hippest baby on the block. The baby industry really knows how to prey on those who are expecting. It isn't even the usual "If you don't have this your baby will only go to community college and probably eat rocks." approach. That is old hat. The stuff for amateurs. Blah blah cones and rods, bright colors. Sure there is the next step up, the whole safety approach to selling. (which is smart in many ways. Obviously you don't want a death trap for a crib or stroller) But there is the new version of safety. "BPA and all that jazz." If your child even LOOKS in the general direction of a plastic toy? Well then they are going to end up only reading the works of Judith Krantz and have a job selling light-bulbs. Maybe. With a lot of therapy and shit." Then there is the final approach to selling. Lifestyle. It is appealing to the most amusing side of vanity. How to make your baby show the world how exquisite your taste is and what your feelings are on every subject. (extra points if there is irony involved) And some article of clothing or object will only cost you an arm and a leg. Thankyouverymuch.
I don't entirely mind if people have the money and want to buy this stuff because they think it is awesome. They just need to be honest with themselves about it. "I want to buy this so the world can see how clever I am." The baby doesn't need the shoes or the fur-trimmed blanket or the jaunty chapeau. (well they need a hat but not that one.)
The baby doesn't care. They show their appreciation for the money spent on the perfect outfit or the just-so sleep sack by spitting up on it. If they really like it, they will explode in their pants and possibly leave a stain that is nearly impossible to get out.
There is an interior design blog I like to read and there is a section devoted to children-related stuff. They have some neat ideas about crafts and how to make various things. They sometimes do room tours and they crack me up. There are these baby rooms sooooo carefully done up before the kid is born. So much effort and love has been put into this and that is great. People should look forward to the arrival of this person. But there is a part of me that thinks sometimes, "I sure hope that baby has good coloring because otherwise that baby will look awfully sallow in that room." But again a parent must be honest. That room is more for the parent than the baby.
I don't want to appear to cynical. Maybe the laundry has killed my soul over the years. I love dressing up my kids and finding them fun things to wear. I like something that wears well but I also graciously accept other things that may not always be my immediate style because the gifts have been given with love. And when I am doing the buying, I don't like to pay full retail for clothing that might only last a month or two. (especially with Miss Biscuit who goes through clothes the way Liz Taylor has gone through husbands) Plus I don't think the world needs another baby with an "opinion" on the subject of poop, politics or milk.
Babies are like a number of men I have known. Provide food, a place to sleep, some comfortable warm clothes that don't pinch and a pair of breasts to cuddle up to and everything else is fine.
