![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
where I stand
Jun. 12th, 2011 09:55 pmThere was this article about kids who don't conform to cultural gender norms. (pink for girls and trucks for boys, that kind of thing) It talks about how some parents (and to some degree the culture) is shifting to be more accepting of kids who might prefer different things.
I feel fortunate that my kid gets to go to a preschool where boys can wear princess dresses or skirts or nail polish on their fingers and people don't really blink. I am not inclined to say that these boys will identify as queer later on or come out as being gay. A few might but I suspect most won't. Really I think it comes down to the fact that for a lot of little kids, pink is a fun cheerful color. Princess dresses and tutus are pretty awesome (especially if they have a good twirl to them) and Barbies and dolls are plain fun to dress up. Never underestimate the joy of some sparkle. (especially on one's toes) Equally for the girls who aren't interested in dolls, the color pink or other more traditionally deemed girl toys/activities -most just like what is fun and will likely turn out to be well-rounded grown-ups. (at least this is the hope if their parents are cool about what their kids take up over the years)
My Mother reminded me of a scene from the movie National Velvet where the older sister is painting her little brother's fingernails. (and this is a movie made in the 1940s) There isn't any objection to the nail polish from the Father except toward the sisters for hiding the boy's insect bottle.
I tend to think the job of the parent in these situations isn't to put a label on the kid either way when it comes to what catches the eye of the kid. It is good to have conversations about all of it (and help them deal with any potential criticism that might come their way) and hopefully to have a healthy attitude about it. Life is already pretty serious as it is, I think a kid just needs time to play without the politics.
I feel fortunate that my kid gets to go to a preschool where boys can wear princess dresses or skirts or nail polish on their fingers and people don't really blink. I am not inclined to say that these boys will identify as queer later on or come out as being gay. A few might but I suspect most won't. Really I think it comes down to the fact that for a lot of little kids, pink is a fun cheerful color. Princess dresses and tutus are pretty awesome (especially if they have a good twirl to them) and Barbies and dolls are plain fun to dress up. Never underestimate the joy of some sparkle. (especially on one's toes) Equally for the girls who aren't interested in dolls, the color pink or other more traditionally deemed girl toys/activities -most just like what is fun and will likely turn out to be well-rounded grown-ups. (at least this is the hope if their parents are cool about what their kids take up over the years)
My Mother reminded me of a scene from the movie National Velvet where the older sister is painting her little brother's fingernails. (and this is a movie made in the 1940s) There isn't any objection to the nail polish from the Father except toward the sisters for hiding the boy's insect bottle.
I tend to think the job of the parent in these situations isn't to put a label on the kid either way when it comes to what catches the eye of the kid. It is good to have conversations about all of it (and help them deal with any potential criticism that might come their way) and hopefully to have a healthy attitude about it. Life is already pretty serious as it is, I think a kid just needs time to play without the politics.
