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To be a parent is to engage in a form of gambling more frought with risk than... the stock market. So hey do you like to live on the edge of anxiety all of the time? Go for it.
It is a week for I am completely doubting everything I do as a Mom. Senor Onion scratched this one kid (who he has had occasional run-ins with) and then today he kicked that kid. Senor Onion tells me, "I AM SORRY" but I am just so angry right now that I told him that it doesn't seem to mean much because he keeps hurting this kid and that at this point I am not really interested in listening to "I'm sorry." And when you tell him what he did was wrong and you become angry he says, "You are hurting my feelings" but he doesn't get that he HURT someone else and that we are more interested in the victim here. I am trying very very hard to be sympathetic to everyone. To try and figure out what is up (because he really isn't like this for the most part) and get to the root of the issue. Oh the fail sauce I am eating on my pile of self-doubt pancakes. STOP FUCKING HURTING PEOPLE KID. We talk and we talk and I listen and I observe. I want to think I set firm boundaries when it comes to acceptable behavior. I was just so damn tired by all of this that I shrieked at him through half of the car ride home. (which really didn't help anything) I sent him straight to his room because I fucking needed the space.
I hate to think that the shock and awe treatment (Mom screaming and becoming livid) is the only thing that gets through to him that we don't fucking kick/scratch/hit people. I've tried my best to give him tools for handling conflict, when he has to wait his turn, for when he doesn't get his own way. I know I will have to repeat things a million times but some days? Some days it wears you down.
Fuck it. I am going to eat all of the girl scout cookies.
It is a week for I am completely doubting everything I do as a Mom. Senor Onion scratched this one kid (who he has had occasional run-ins with) and then today he kicked that kid. Senor Onion tells me, "I AM SORRY" but I am just so angry right now that I told him that it doesn't seem to mean much because he keeps hurting this kid and that at this point I am not really interested in listening to "I'm sorry." And when you tell him what he did was wrong and you become angry he says, "You are hurting my feelings" but he doesn't get that he HURT someone else and that we are more interested in the victim here. I am trying very very hard to be sympathetic to everyone. To try and figure out what is up (because he really isn't like this for the most part) and get to the root of the issue. Oh the fail sauce I am eating on my pile of self-doubt pancakes. STOP FUCKING HURTING PEOPLE KID. We talk and we talk and I listen and I observe. I want to think I set firm boundaries when it comes to acceptable behavior. I was just so damn tired by all of this that I shrieked at him through half of the car ride home. (which really didn't help anything) I sent him straight to his room because I fucking needed the space.
I hate to think that the shock and awe treatment (Mom screaming and becoming livid) is the only thing that gets through to him that we don't fucking kick/scratch/hit people. I've tried my best to give him tools for handling conflict, when he has to wait his turn, for when he doesn't get his own way. I know I will have to repeat things a million times but some days? Some days it wears you down.
Fuck it. I am going to eat all of the girl scout cookies.
