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the bother and the pain
Sep. 6th, 2012 09:06 pmThriller films ain't got nothing on a parent getting a phone call from the school. The general theme of parenting for me is "don't get too comfortable or confident because that rug is going to be pulled out from under you. So get used to that big fucking knot of anxiety that is in your stomach, because it has moved in like a tape worm."
I picked up Senor Onion from school today and he was all cheerfulness. First thing he told me was that they saw a dead mouse at school. (Rock on nature!) It sounded like he had a pretty good day. Hurray. The teacher didn't come up to me and say, "can I have a word"
Nope.
Instead we get a call from the head teacher about Senor Onion. It seems that he had what amounted to a tantrum. He was doing some sort of out-door activity and he got upset, refused to do whatever the project was and tore up his piece of paper. It also seems that he isn't co-operating, and he refuses to play during recess.
Big sigh. Big sigh in an attempt to hold back tears and all the other emotions.
His teacher is young, likely this is her first serious gig, and so she didn't contact me. She talked to the head teacher. So great... the head teacher gets to know my kid's name and not for good reasons. FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We talked a bit about how we have completely fucked him up a bit by moving abroad and causing things to be askew, so they know a bit about that. (I even mentioned it to the teacher on the first day.) There wasn't any firm talk about creating a plan to help him. I am going to go and talk to the teacher tomorrow and get a clear picture of the situation, maybe discuss some ideas to help him. We have some ideas about what we can do at home.
We had a chat with Senor Onion. That was horrible. I first asked him about it and he completely denied things hadn't gone well and then he began to back up and try and hide in the laundry room. He did not want to talk about it. We had a long chat with him about this stuff. Trying to get answers about some of his emotions. About why he is feeling the way he is feeling. About school. About expectations of how things go at school. There was sobbing on his part. I feel like such a shitty human. I don't even like the idea of sending him to school all that much. But you compromise in a relationship. (sometimes I hate compromise) I get some of where Senor Onion is coming from but he is nearly six and the tantrums/meltdowns aren't exactly helping his cause. He was doing so well and then we moved and he is a mess. I feel like apologizing to him. "sorry kid for this. All of it."
God I hate being a Mom sometimes. I am responsible for this human being, and I get all this anxiety on top of it.
I also took Miss Biscuit to her first day of preschool. She seemed all right. Though she was rather serious looking about things. Eventually I left. I gave her a hug and kiss good bye and told her I would be back in a couple of hours. It felt strange to come home and have so much quiet. I kept myself busy. I cleaned and cleaned. I made a tart. I tried to avoid letting the anxiety wash over me. Maybe I should return to the zoloft so I don't have to feel so much. All this feeling of emotions is exhausting.
I came to pick her up and she was sitting on a little chair looking so serious. She was so happy to see me. She had a nice time, participated in assorted activities and seemed to do all right. Though she was a bit tired near the end. She told me as we left, "I missed you sooooooo bad." BUT She had fun. Fun is good. At least someone is having fun.
So yeah. The phone call. Way to ruin tea time Head teacher. Pretty much that phone call left me feeling like a shell shock victim for the rest of the evening. I had to go to my inlaws for dinner. I put on an academy award winning performance of a well-adjusted human having a nice dinner. I barely touched dinner but I did all right. The headache nearly killed me in the process. At least everyone liked the tart.
I picked up Senor Onion from school today and he was all cheerfulness. First thing he told me was that they saw a dead mouse at school. (Rock on nature!) It sounded like he had a pretty good day. Hurray. The teacher didn't come up to me and say, "can I have a word"
Nope.
Instead we get a call from the head teacher about Senor Onion. It seems that he had what amounted to a tantrum. He was doing some sort of out-door activity and he got upset, refused to do whatever the project was and tore up his piece of paper. It also seems that he isn't co-operating, and he refuses to play during recess.
Big sigh. Big sigh in an attempt to hold back tears and all the other emotions.
His teacher is young, likely this is her first serious gig, and so she didn't contact me. She talked to the head teacher. So great... the head teacher gets to know my kid's name and not for good reasons. FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We talked a bit about how we have completely fucked him up a bit by moving abroad and causing things to be askew, so they know a bit about that. (I even mentioned it to the teacher on the first day.) There wasn't any firm talk about creating a plan to help him. I am going to go and talk to the teacher tomorrow and get a clear picture of the situation, maybe discuss some ideas to help him. We have some ideas about what we can do at home.
We had a chat with Senor Onion. That was horrible. I first asked him about it and he completely denied things hadn't gone well and then he began to back up and try and hide in the laundry room. He did not want to talk about it. We had a long chat with him about this stuff. Trying to get answers about some of his emotions. About why he is feeling the way he is feeling. About school. About expectations of how things go at school. There was sobbing on his part. I feel like such a shitty human. I don't even like the idea of sending him to school all that much. But you compromise in a relationship. (sometimes I hate compromise) I get some of where Senor Onion is coming from but he is nearly six and the tantrums/meltdowns aren't exactly helping his cause. He was doing so well and then we moved and he is a mess. I feel like apologizing to him. "sorry kid for this. All of it."
God I hate being a Mom sometimes. I am responsible for this human being, and I get all this anxiety on top of it.
I also took Miss Biscuit to her first day of preschool. She seemed all right. Though she was rather serious looking about things. Eventually I left. I gave her a hug and kiss good bye and told her I would be back in a couple of hours. It felt strange to come home and have so much quiet. I kept myself busy. I cleaned and cleaned. I made a tart. I tried to avoid letting the anxiety wash over me. Maybe I should return to the zoloft so I don't have to feel so much. All this feeling of emotions is exhausting.
I came to pick her up and she was sitting on a little chair looking so serious. She was so happy to see me. She had a nice time, participated in assorted activities and seemed to do all right. Though she was a bit tired near the end. She told me as we left, "I missed you sooooooo bad." BUT She had fun. Fun is good. At least someone is having fun.
So yeah. The phone call. Way to ruin tea time Head teacher. Pretty much that phone call left me feeling like a shell shock victim for the rest of the evening. I had to go to my inlaws for dinner. I put on an academy award winning performance of a well-adjusted human having a nice dinner. I barely touched dinner but I did all right. The headache nearly killed me in the process. At least everyone liked the tart.
