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black in the eyes and full of butter.
Aug. 11th, 2015 11:54 amI made some cakes for the pop-up tea room. I used a million eggs, and it was fun. I am no slouch in the cake-making department. I came on Sunday to see the open art studios going on, and to see how the cakes were doing. When I had a look at one cake I made I noticed this strange pool of liquid at the bottom of the cake plate. And I was a trifle confused. Did something get weepy in my cake? It couldn't have been the ganache, and the cake itself didn't contain anything that would leak. What ever could it be? It really threw me. Did I fuck up my cake? I turned to my nephew and asked him, "Did something happen to my cake?" He said, "A. put honey all over it." I gave him my finest, "WTF" look and said, "honey? Why? Is it dry or something? Was there an accident?" "Nope. She just put honey all over it."
Uh. Huh.
And I am not going to lie, I felt a lot of rage. Don't fuck with my cakes. I know what my cakes are supposed to taste like. If you want to add shit like whipped cream or berries, cool. Those are garnishes that don't get in the way. But honey? HONEY? WHAT THE COMPLETE AND UTTER FUCK LADY?
And I know she did not do it out of malice. She is a perfectly lovey (if hyper) soul. She does have some serious food issues. (disordered eating, a wee bit OCD about clean eating, and she always puts on a super happy face, despite some stuff in her life. And really she is nice. So supportive and cheery, and very very good with kids.) But god damn lady, don't fuck with my cake.
I put on a lovely kind face, though if you looked into my eyes you would not see total joy. They might have gone a bit black.
My Mother in law was a good sport and tried a slice of the cake. She said, "it was a cake that didn't need the honey." And I was right. She said it wasn't the worst thing, but it was a bit much. I mean this cake is a stripey sort of bundt cake with cardamom and cocoa and cinnamon. AND it had the dark chocolate ganache on top. It had flavors going on. I even tried it. It crowded out the other flavors. Honey is a really pronounced flavor, and wonderful in many things but cake did not require it. It was moist without it. And presentation-wise, that cake already had a lot going on. I could have won some damn good ribbons at the county fair with a cake like that.
I didn't have time to ask A. "WTF." Mostly because I didn't want to start throwing plates at her.
But when I see her next I will kindly say, "hey, just a suggestion but that cake doesn't need honey, but maybe a little cream or berries on the side? Less intense. But still nice."
And the daffodil cake I made was a hit. Because lemon and angel food cake is a good combo and English people lose their shit over the texture. Cake. Don't fuck with it.
Uh. Huh.
And I am not going to lie, I felt a lot of rage. Don't fuck with my cakes. I know what my cakes are supposed to taste like. If you want to add shit like whipped cream or berries, cool. Those are garnishes that don't get in the way. But honey? HONEY? WHAT THE COMPLETE AND UTTER FUCK LADY?
And I know she did not do it out of malice. She is a perfectly lovey (if hyper) soul. She does have some serious food issues. (disordered eating, a wee bit OCD about clean eating, and she always puts on a super happy face, despite some stuff in her life. And really she is nice. So supportive and cheery, and very very good with kids.) But god damn lady, don't fuck with my cake.
I put on a lovely kind face, though if you looked into my eyes you would not see total joy. They might have gone a bit black.
My Mother in law was a good sport and tried a slice of the cake. She said, "it was a cake that didn't need the honey." And I was right. She said it wasn't the worst thing, but it was a bit much. I mean this cake is a stripey sort of bundt cake with cardamom and cocoa and cinnamon. AND it had the dark chocolate ganache on top. It had flavors going on. I even tried it. It crowded out the other flavors. Honey is a really pronounced flavor, and wonderful in many things but cake did not require it. It was moist without it. And presentation-wise, that cake already had a lot going on. I could have won some damn good ribbons at the county fair with a cake like that.
I didn't have time to ask A. "WTF." Mostly because I didn't want to start throwing plates at her.
But when I see her next I will kindly say, "hey, just a suggestion but that cake doesn't need honey, but maybe a little cream or berries on the side? Less intense. But still nice."
And the daffodil cake I made was a hit. Because lemon and angel food cake is a good combo and English people lose their shit over the texture. Cake. Don't fuck with it.
