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gfrancieI am sick.
I woke up feeling like I was going to be unwell all over the place.
Andrew kindly made me some tea.
Later on I ate apples and cheese.
So, I am feeling a might bit depressed. I posted about it earlier, but it was a little too pity-filled. So I deleted the post. I saw this photograph that was taken of me last night and I was not pleased with the image. It wasn't the lack of skill on the part of the person taking the picture.
I was just hit with a serious moment of not liking what I saw.
It is so funny how you are feeling okay one day and the next you think of yourself as jabba the hut. *laughs*
I need to take a long bath, put on some decent clothes and find a project to do.
I still feel sick as anything so I am going to think good thoughts.
Maybe I should take a pilates or yoga class to chill myself out a little bit and make myself a little more active.
I have lost some weight this year, but secretly I wouldn't mind getting a tapeworm and making it a personal pet.
Okay enough of this "oh I am fat" talk.
It doesn't do me a bit of good to sit there and wax pathetic about it.
I think I should create a dish, work on my writing, and finish the laundry.
*thinks of Stuart...I'm good enough...I'm smart enough...*
Maybe I do want to eat a whole pound cake?
I woke up feeling like I was going to be unwell all over the place.
Andrew kindly made me some tea.
Later on I ate apples and cheese.
So, I am feeling a might bit depressed. I posted about it earlier, but it was a little too pity-filled. So I deleted the post. I saw this photograph that was taken of me last night and I was not pleased with the image. It wasn't the lack of skill on the part of the person taking the picture.
I was just hit with a serious moment of not liking what I saw.
It is so funny how you are feeling okay one day and the next you think of yourself as jabba the hut. *laughs*
I need to take a long bath, put on some decent clothes and find a project to do.
I still feel sick as anything so I am going to think good thoughts.
Maybe I should take a pilates or yoga class to chill myself out a little bit and make myself a little more active.
I have lost some weight this year, but secretly I wouldn't mind getting a tapeworm and making it a personal pet.
Okay enough of this "oh I am fat" talk.
It doesn't do me a bit of good to sit there and wax pathetic about it.
I think I should create a dish, work on my writing, and finish the laundry.
*thinks of Stuart...I'm good enough...I'm smart enough...*
Maybe I do want to eat a whole pound cake?
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hmmm
Date: 2003-08-26 02:06 pm (UTC)that's what sensible people do...sure you regret it and go for a long walk later but for gods sake you excercise and get the pound cake..I say go for the best of both worlds at all costs, but then again, I'm a Gemini I always want both.
xoxo-
Miss Nico
Re: hmmm
Date: 2003-08-26 02:55 pm (UTC)Makes sense.
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Date: 2003-08-26 02:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-26 02:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-26 02:30 pm (UTC)I keep wanting to take a yoga class, too, but I absolutely HATE exercising in front of people. Partly because I'm a sweaty betty anyway, and the medication I'm on makes me sweat an insane amount more. Also, I'd be very unmotivated to get out and GO to a class, but I do think it would be nice.
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Date: 2003-08-26 02:40 pm (UTC)That way I can be a sweaty better and accidentally fart (when I relax too much) in the comfort of my own home.
You can do that too.
Thank you for the compliment.
I think I need to refigure my meal needs.
I need to remember to lay off the bread. It always makes me puffy.
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Date: 2003-08-26 02:48 pm (UTC)I have the Kathy Smith beginner yoga tape, which is very slow and "easy" (but it really gets you working in a few spots). Plus two of the poses practically induce a sense of nirvana in me because they feel so good.
I also have Rodney Yee's three-part power yoga tapes (with topics something like "For Relaxation," "For Strength," and "For Flexibility"). Power yoga switches from pose to pose very quickly and is much more active. The tapes are good, but it is even better to watch Rodney Yee in his Speedo and listen to Rodney Yee speak in his Keanu surfer voice.
As for your meal needs, you definitely need all the things you've been consuming. Butter, cheese, eggs, pastries, etc. Some people don't need those things. But you do. In order to be a happy girl.
A very pretty and happy girl. :)
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Date: 2003-08-27 10:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-26 02:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-26 03:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-26 03:48 pm (UTC)I can then claim I am an escapee from a mental hospital.
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Date: 2003-08-26 03:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-26 03:45 pm (UTC)Who knew changing your clothes would help so much.
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Date: 2003-08-26 03:10 pm (UTC)Some days combined with certain outfits make for a happy Paige. Then all it takes is a strange glance in the mirror and I'm struck with "HOly crap I look like that?"
Usually I make up for the sadness by eating way more than I should, feeling guilty and then realizing that I should just relax and go for a walk or something. . . that always makes me feel better.
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Date: 2003-08-26 03:43 pm (UTC)I hope and pray that this time I might look okay.
doomed.
Yeah, I have been known to eat whole pies.
Today I had cheese and apples which is okay. I am learning to restrain myself a bit.
Oy vey...
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Date: 2003-08-26 04:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-26 06:49 pm (UTC)I want to be her.
But not entirely.
So far I am brunette who goes with an English guy and I post stuff about comfort food on my journal. So I am part way there.
I am getting better as I get older.
I don't eat the whole pie.
I eat half of it.
I can so relate!
Date: 2003-08-26 03:24 pm (UTC)I can't tell you how many moments I've looked at myself in picures (even the ones from EO's b-day party in Jan), and think oh my God, I'm a hippo! I look like shit. then I think I've got to excercise and loose about 70 pounds. Then I see another picture and realize it's all in the way I feel. I've ssen the pictures from England and I know you've heard it before, Trust me, you're a beautiful woman inside and out. Don't ever forget it!
Love,
Closh :-)
Re: I can so relate!
Date: 2003-08-26 03:47 pm (UTC)I did the smart thing and deleted any presence of the pictures.
It is amazing how much that helps. *laughs*
Re: I can so relate!
Date: 2003-08-26 11:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-26 03:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-26 03:42 pm (UTC)That is the exact pose I am saw.
I wanted to just lay down and die. *laughs*
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Date: 2003-08-26 06:16 pm (UTC)Anyways, I don't know where I was going with that thought, but I think that Gennie the "Gizzmopper" Gibson is one of my favorite people and I think you are beautiful just the way you are! I'm sad that I never get to see you anymore unless I go to your work :( *neglected feelings*
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Date: 2003-08-26 06:46 pm (UTC)*shudders* the sideview while sitting pose is the kryptonite of us all.
I am a bad friend.
Well...mostly an absent hermit friend.
I need to change that. I have this flexible life now. I can do stuff in the evenings.
We need to start doing stuff together again.
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Date: 2003-08-26 08:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-26 11:58 pm (UTC)Coupledom is weird sometimes.
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Date: 2003-08-26 07:30 pm (UTC)are you talking about the casino picture?
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Date: 2003-08-26 08:55 pm (UTC)Then again, it would make everyone and their mom feel good about themselves.
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Date: 2003-08-26 03:44 pm (UTC)Second, I just ordered and received the Winsor Pilates DVD set. I tried it for the first time last night and let me tell you, that is a workout and a half. If anyone says you need to sweat to work out they haven't tried this tape. My stomach muscles were so sore by the time I was done attempting to do it, that I felt like I was going to die. So this is good...I figure pain, no sweat, can do it in my own home while in sweats and a tank top, this is good.
Sorry you are feeling yucky and sick. Days like that just suck. I think today is one of those days for a lot of people, must be the weather.
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Date: 2003-08-26 03:46 pm (UTC)I may have to get that dvd. I have run across it and it looks good and anything where I can do it at home while I look stupid I am a fan of.
I think you are right about the weather. It is making everyone go, "blah."
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Date: 2003-08-26 05:18 pm (UTC)it took many people to remind me i am cute as a button, and me realizing the same to bring me to my senses.
i went to a pilates yoga class at 24 hour fitness with a friend who has a membership a week ago.
it was a great fitness workout, i only felt a bit selfconscious there...most of the people were beginning too or were in my body type.
now i am looking at creative ways i will be able to work out to tone my body, not really to lose weight.
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Date: 2003-08-26 06:50 pm (UTC)Fortunately we have our friends to prop us up when we are down.
I just want to be healthy more then anything.
Also I don't want to have thighs the size of an orca.
Wheee
Date: 2003-08-26 05:25 pm (UTC)I never saw your england pics. Where are they ? :(
34 minutes until tonights pilates class.
Re: Wheee
Date: 2003-08-26 06:53 pm (UTC)I know I know..."but you live in Redmond" Yes, but I feel like I am living in the land of the pretty blonde people and I am the alien from another planet.
here (http://www.reenigne.org/photos/2003/2/) are pictures of England...and a few other things. You have to scroll down a bit to see the photographs we both took.
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Date: 2003-08-27 09:45 am (UTC)*shrug* just my 2 cents...
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Date: 2003-08-27 03:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-27 06:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-28 03:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-28 07:16 am (UTC)Maybe I need to do that more.
Of course I have to go to work sometimes.