weird moment #4839587395

[gfrancie]

I realized a bit ago that I sell porn for a living.
That is something I never thought would happen.

Comments

[ekdogg.livejournal.com]

guess it is better than making porn..at least for your mother's sake.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

That is a very good point. There are many things I could do and have my mother's support. Somehow making porn would be difficult to justify.

[exjb-986723.livejournal.com]

you can always tell people the Man is making you do it.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

The Man makes me do a lot of things.

[devilindupriest.livejournal.com]

Is it good porn?


Or is it the tasteful and artistic kind?

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Some of it is good porn, some of it is boring porn.

We have the full on color sex manuals. Pretty dull stuff, but always good for a giggle.
We have tasteful literary erotica and of course the magazines.

We don't really carry anything all that hardcore. No "Juggs" or "Barely Legal"

You know...Playboy, Playgirl, Hustler, Bizzare...same old same old.
We have gay porn too.
Not a lot of lesbian porn I noticed. I should mention something to the newstand manager about that. heh.

[mickasso.livejournal.com]

What kind of porn are you peddling?

O_o

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Fairly safe porn. No furries or amputees.
Just playboy, playgirl, hustler, anais nin, crappy anne rice style erotica.

[mickasso.livejournal.com]

What is this anais nin the ladies are always speaking of?

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

She is a famous diarist who was a lover of Henry Miller.
She is pretty darn famous for writing some erotica (apparently she was paid a dollar a page)

It was pretty snazzy stuff. I first found it when I was about 14. (on a high bookshelf at my parents)
orgies and all sorts of fucked up fun stuff.

Definitely worth a look.

[punch-drunk.livejournal.com]

Weird. I had a conversation about that with a friend last night.
Basically, I was in a bookstore recently and I bought a Vanity Fair and as I was paying for it, the cashier seemed to give off a vibe like "Oh. She reads magazines." Like he was judging me as shallow. It was probably all in my head, but I asked a friend yesterday if he ever felt like he was being judged when he bought stuff at a bookstore. He said, "Only when I buy porn or something of a personal nature." He was joking, but it still came up.

[photosexual.livejournal.com]

I get that 'tude from some salespeople when the magazine is really just fashion or art, or photography. They refer to it as porn like they mean it, and that it's poison - and then make exaggerated efforts to not touch me when they give me my change. It's a comical thing to witness.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

What fuckwits.
I tend to work near the magazines a lot and I am always so talkative with the customers about the stuff they pick out.
I read alot of periodicals and so I can tell them what a fucking kick-ass issue it might be.

I don't hold any patience with the ass-faces who read, "Love in the Time of Cholera" and pull that high and mighty bullshit.
I just want to smack them in the mouth with a Dave Eggers book. Put them in their place.

I like the guys who buy porn from me. I sometimes mess with them a little and make them nervous, but I am cool.

I only pull out my elitist bookstore clerk crap out when people buy oprah books or anything written by ann coulter.

[photosexual.livejournal.com]

And I'm glad to be a shameless customer. Y'know... those people at the OTHER bookstore get all nervous about porn like they don't work as a porn salesperson there in the very store, and that I'm a pervert for coming in and asking for it (ok, I am a pervert, but that's not the point!)

I believe you should offer suggestive selling for related products: "Hey there, sir or ma'am! Perhaps you'd like some personal lubricant with your purchase of Hustler there! (is that Christina in the centerfold?!) There's a great little shop up the hill called Toys in Babeland, and they're doing a sale on lubes!"

And then send them scurrying off to hide in the anonymity of the crowd.

[closh2.livejournal.com]

I can see the customer faces now. Like oh my god Thanks for the tip! and then off they run to make their purchase at the shop up the hill. It's such a joy to be able to help the public isn't it?

[photosexual.livejournal.com]

The public has no idea the volume of bargains they're missing, until they're told. I tell ya, if people would just go and buy more porn, more often, the abundance of retail savings would multiply like bunnies in springtime! Or something.

you sell porn?

[16bit.livejournal.com]

i'll take two.

Re: you sell porn?

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

I need to see some ID please.

Re: you sell porn?

[16bit.livejournal.com]

*takes off pants*

Re: you sell porn?

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

no, I want something government issued, none of this home-grown stuff.

Re: you sell porn?

[16bit.livejournal.com]

it *is* government issued. i lost the original in vietnam. stepped on a bouncing betty. you can take a closer look if you don't believe me.

Re: you sell porn?

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

I generally keep fairly far from such things.
It is a personal rule.
Unless someone buys me a few drinks.

Re: you sell porn?

[16bit.livejournal.com]

too bad i'm a cheapskate. if i buy you drinks then i'll have no money left for porn. that would defeat my whole purpose. i'll just have to go take my business to another store, thank you kindly.

Re: you sell porn?

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Ah heck you can find porn any ol' place.

I just happened to be one of many smut peddlers in the United States.

But I am a classy sort of smut peddler.

Cleanup in Aisle 12

[filmcynic.livejournal.com]

Hey, I sold porn for years and I ... turned out ... just ... fine. Oh. Oh, God.

Run.

Re: Cleanup in Aisle 12

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

*snorts with laughter*
I figure it is good for my character.