Oh I am weak in the knees and I have a yen for some ass-kicking.

[gfrancie]

I was helping a customer this morning and I put her things in a bag and her boyfriend/husband/walking dildo came up and said, "so do you guys have porno books?" I raised my eyebrows slightly and said, "yes we do." He then said, "I mean with full graphic pictures?" I sighed and said, "yes, are you looking for something in particular?" He then said, "like the anal stuff? Do you have anal shots?" I looked at him dead-pan and said, "yes sir. I can show them to you if you are really interested?" Dildo said, "um, where would that be?" I told him human sexuality. He started to walk to show him and he began giggling and said, "I am just kidding...don't you ever smile?" I was kinda fed up, because frankly I hear dumb-asses like him everyday asking about our adult material. I looked at him and said, "listen buddy, I don't get paid enough to smile for you and does this look like the god damn Gap? I don't think so. Got any other questions?" He looked a little shocked and his girlfriend started to laugh.

So fuck all of you.

Don't think you are trying to be clever by trying to make me blush or smile when asking me about that kind of thing. I have no problem with it. I happen to like the customers who genuinely want to find those books that will help "spice up their marriage." Those are pretty hip people. I like the people who are honest and open about wanting to read a little erotica now and then.

I don't have patience for the ass-face extraordinaire who feels he is the fucking comedian of the year because he is talking about dirty stuff.

Stay home with your scrambled eggs and scrambled porn.

I am not afraid of telling you to fuck off. Just try and fire me. I dare you.

...

Yeah so anyways. I bought new panties today. I feel good.

...

I have TMJ (and to the assholes out there, it isn't from sucking so many dicks. Go fuck yourselves) I have had it since I was about fourteen years old and most of the time it doesn't bother me. Except now and then when it is really cold and wet out it feels like my jaw is being squashed so I have a slight migraine. I am going to lay on the couch. Read some children's books and enjoy the rain.

...

I saw Intolerable Cruelty this weekend. Have I mentioned lately how much I adore Coen brother films, the fine fine bodies of George Clooney and Catherine Zeta-Jones? Plus the film had the quality of a 30's screwball comedy. It is the kind of thing that in a certain way would have worked with Clark Gable and Carole Lombard. Hrm...

I know I know...need to finish up the review of the food I ate this weekend.

...

I am going to attempt to see a special screening of the new film, Love Actually
I admit it is kind of a hot fantasy of actors for me.
It has Alan Rickman, Hugh Grant, Liam Neeson, Colin Firth...excuse me, I may need a moment. I am out of breath all of a sudden. I am hot all over.
Yummy.
Yeah...so anyways Andrew and I are going to try and see that awesome awesome film.

Anything by Richard Curtis makes me happy.

Comments

[carrieann.livejournal.com]

This post was most certainly brought to you by the words "Fuck" and "You", kids.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

I like to think it was brought you by my migraine. *laughs*

Certainly a lot of fuck you happening.
*laughs*

[adele822.livejournal.com]

LOL, that many people ask about the "sex" section there?

jesus, how hard is it to just go to a porn store and look at the real thing.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Tons of people ask about it.
I am hip to that, because there are people who are being smart and educationg themselves.

I think B&N is a little classier then some porn places and that way they don't feel like such perv's. It is a stepping stone.

They start out at B&N and then go to the porn shops.

That is so funny

[starrynytes4me.livejournal.com]

Good for you. What an idiot. I adore Catherine. I would almost go gay for her. I should go see that movie.

Re: That is so funny

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

I will kick ass with the best of them.

You and me both.
euphrasie said she is hot eurotrash.

[noogienubs.livejournal.com]

dude, fuck YOU!

Next week I'm coming in and and asking about fisting magazines.

Just watch me.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Go for it. I would dig that, cause you are cute and all.
we don't have any magazines on fisting, for that I would suggest going to Toys in Babeland (http://www.babeland.com/)

I can show you where you can find gothic gay horror books, a pretty good copy of the illustrated kama sutra, and which pages for the hot sex scenes in most novels.

[morsefan.livejournal.com]

I'm in favor of "spicing up marriages" -- keeps the divorce rate down (giggles!). Only really good thing about the movie "Michael Collins" is we get to hear Liam Neeson and Aidan Quinn in their own accents!!

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

I think it is very cool (especially middle-aged people) when people ask me about that kind of thing.

Hot movie, hot accents.

[ratphooey.livejournal.com]

Aidan Quinn was born in Chicago. That's his ancestral accent on display in Michael Collins.

[morsefan.livejournal.com]

No kidding. Well, I've learned something!

[cascini7.livejournal.com]

I would like to think I could think of something that clever and bold when dealing with assholes, but alas....i just look up, pause, try to think of something, and then walk away.

I saw a preview for that and it made me smile. Love Colin Firth and Alan Rickman.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Everyone can think of something quickly. Just keep a few key phrases in mind at all times.


I love love love the preview for that film.

[ratphooey.livejournal.com]

1. New panties can overcome all manner of morons, if not migraines.

2. Must see Intolerable Cruelty very soon.

3. Ditto for Love, Actually. Richard Curtis rulez.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

1.amen to that, especially cute panties with stuff on them.

2.You should race out this second.

3.Oh my gosh, Yes.

[swallowwhole.livejournal.com]

again, that's mah girl.

i would have just said "are you so sexually repressed that mentioning pornography makes you giggle like a school girl? go to the mall."

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

*laughs* tempting.

ArseFace

[honeythorn.livejournal.com]

Oddly enough I just had a guy complaining today....I work at a Hastings (books/video/music store) and a bloke comes up with a porn and says he'd like to return it. "Sir" I say "Is there something wrong with the DVD, is it scratched?" "No, it's just not hardcore enough. I was looking for some REALLY hardcore anal and...." I just stood gape mouthed...*ahem* I had to turn him away cause "We can't just take back a DVD cause you don't like it." Arseholes...grr...

Pax,

HT

Re: ArseFace

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

I would worry about a sort like that. I would tag him or something.
creepy.

[robiewankenobie.livejournal.com]

i was avoiding intolerable cruelty like the plague. then i saw that the coen brothers were behind it, and i thought "well, why didn't you just say THAT in the previews instead of making it look like every other stupid chick flick out there." i'm glad it was good...i'll be seeing it soon.

alan rickman...how do i love thee? let me count the ways...

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Goodness, this film is just too neat.

You should see it just for a character called, "Wheezy Joe."

Alan Rickman makes me so hot.