oh feck.

[gfrancie]

I sent an email to my Mother telling her I am about three seconds away from having a Lesbian witch marry Mr. Jenner and I at our house.
I received a list from my church of pre-cana programs that the engaged couple can take. (kind of like pre-marital counseling to make sure you know what you are getting into and agree on things like whether you will have kids and how do you feel about early episodes of MASH)
Most cost over 150 bucks (which strikes me as bullshit that something is required should cost) and the ones that don't cost are apparently difficult to get into and I am just irritated by that to the nth degree. One choice is essentially therapy sessions. "85 dollars a session for 6 sessions"

FUCK THIS WHOLE WEDDING! FUCK IT! *throws things*
It seems all I am confronted with is, "oh...that? eight million dollars. Oh that? mmmm yeah, hard to reserve."
I am not asking for a damn fairy-tale. I just want a half-way decent party. I need a xanax or something.

You know what is driving me away from the church? It isn't the dogma, it is bull-shit stuff like this. I don't want to hear any anti-Catholic bullshit from my faithful readers. Unless you are a practicing Catholic you can't say shit. It is like someone saying shit about one's family. Only people related can say shit. The rest should just shut up.

*eats a feckin' cookie*

I just feel absolutely sick to my stomach.

Comments

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Yeah. We can get married in church, even though Mr. Jenner isn't a Catholic (which is fine and dandy with me) but even with the church there are these continual costs and rubs me the wrong way.

I like the idea of pre-cana in theory and it seems like a good idea to sit down and hash a few things out and make sure you truly know where the other person stands on certain things.

I don't know if the church has spent all their money on paying out sex abuse scandal problems but charging people up the ass to get married in the churc is no way to lure people in.

[mckenzee.livejournal.com]

I'm not Catholic, but I am ordained (ULC) and have married a few couples. My pre-cana is usually a nice conversation over dinner and a drink.

Get me a place to stay and a plane ticket and I'll marry you in the backyard.

[instantkarmma.livejournal.com]

Can you find a pre-cana program not offered by your church but that still qualifies? That might take some of the headache out of it. I'm surprised they expect you to pay for it. I took pre-marital counseling before my first wedding (and it worked wonders, just ask my second husband heh.) and it was included in the fee we paid to have our wedding at the church.

Weddings are just a fecking headache, regardless. I sometimes wonder if weddings aren't like movie night to God, sitting on a sofa with popcorn. "Oh, this one is kind of boring, let's have the caterer get lost!"

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

*snorts* I like your thinking.

[anonamys.livejournal.com]

I feel your pain. Planning weddings sucks. But the end result is pretty great! (In the end, I was thrilled with our ceremony, not so thrilled with our reception and the fact that it was apparently so lame everyone left 2 hours before I planned it to end. I barely talked to anyone because I ate dinner and by the time I'd finished that, half the guests had left.)

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

everyone leaves receptions early. Because people are lame and you can only eat so much food and say the bride looks lovely so many times. *laughs*

I just feel so irritated by these details.

[atonal.livejournal.com]

you know, legally i can perform marriages...and i used to study the occult. i can work on the lesbian part too. just point the way.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Could you be a middle-aged Lesbian going through a 'Goddess' phase where you wear big earrings, draping clothing and you enjoy a good potluck and bring tabouli?

[kodyo.livejournal.com]

The thought of planning a traditional wedding makes me yearn for Las Vegas :)

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

It isn't all bad. There are just these details that are thrown at you to see if you really want to get married.

[sarahparah.livejournal.com]

I can offer you a shoulder to cry on but no advice. We eloped.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

How about a drink? I like drinks.

[cusackam.livejournal.com]

That is odd........ we didn't have to pay anything when we had our marriage "blessed" We just met with the Deacon. hrmmmmm that just really SUCKS

Does it have to be done at the church you are getting married at or can you do it elsewhere?

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

this is at another place, since the church we plan on getting married in is a bit far off.

Maybe I will just get my damn marriage blessed.

[ekdogg.livejournal.com]

you need some money? I could pay pal some dough.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

it isn't the money. That is not the worry. It is this feeling like the church is trying to make money off of me and completely takes away from the whole point of this ceremony. It makes it seem crass and tacky.
Like churches that make you use their wedding planner which of course costs money.

[jawnbc]

You must live in an area where either church attendance is stil high, or the archdiocese is full of wankers. Are you getting married at your family's parish? If so, they should be flexible about this aspect.

Is Mr. Jenner Catlick? A convert? A heretic? That might play in as well.

Wedding planning is more about brass balls tacks than anything else. Be tenacious, don't let anyone drive you around the bend. Make it your day. A grand day!

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

I am getting married in my family's parish and they are pretty hip about this, it is just trying to figure out where to do this damn pre-cana thing.

Mr. Jenner is your typical Englishmen, meaning he is an agnostic C of E sort who attended church as a small child, but doesn't now and will probably go when he is old because it is more like a social club.

I figure I am going to steam-roll over people who want money by saying, "fuck this."

[kirinqueen.livejournal.com]

I'm getting married by a Catholic. Does that count? (He's a judge.)

What I'm rather concerned about is, lacking a set ceremony, we have to come up with something meaningful ourselves. No pressure!

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

there are books to help you sound decent.

[the-sybil.livejournal.com]

Forcing a couple to do wedding preparation sessions, and making them pay through the nose for it? Wow, I wish I'd thought that one up what I was in ministry. No wonder the US church is richer than the UK one.

We found a friendly nun to do our wedding prep (you may ask what qualifications the nun brought to the task - well, she was a trained counsellor). She just sat us down for an hour and got us to talk to her about stuff. Even drcosmos was impressed, and he is very English and hates that kind of stuff. Can you just find a friendly counsellor type to do similar, and get him/her to write a letter to the Church saying s/he has done it?

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

It just blows my mind sometimes all these little ways one is being fucked by others.

I think I will do some research and talk to some family and see what is doable.

[busy-ladylove.livejournal.com]

raised Roman Catholic in a tiny church full of conservative republicans in a suburb of philadelphia, i have decided i want my wedding outside and no where near a church.

as for the counseling, why on earth is it so costly? that is ridiculous.

good luck with everything. you will be so happy when it's over.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

I think it will be okay in the end. I talked to my Mom who has the perpetual job of calming me down.

Actually

[epiphany.livejournal.com]

I think I can marry you too, but I ain't of dah Catholic.

But more importantly... just how DO you feel about early episodes of M*A*S*H? This is crucial.

~ E.

Re: Actually

[cogshiftingman.livejournal.com]

Yikes ... I don't get MASH at all. Bores me to tears.

Should I be sprinkled with Holy Water?

[cogshiftingman.livejournal.com]

My first wife was Catholic. Oh my goodness. I remember having to do something like meet the priest prior to the wedding for cucumber sandwiches. I couldn't have taken much of that. I don't even *like* cucumber sandwiches. It helped that we lived about 1000 miles away from where the marriage was to take place, so meetings like this were a little difficult to arrange.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

I think they do all of this to see how badly you want to get married.

[emmabovary.livejournal.com]

You think getting married is expensive?

Try divorce.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Yeah, this prep. for the wedding has me thinking, "like hell I will ever do this crap again. and forget divorce. I told Mr. Jenner that no matter what he did I would stay married to him because I don't want to do this again."

[robiewankenobie.livejournal.com]

we had exceedingly bad premarital counseling. they had us read a book written by two people who imho had convinced themselves to stay in a loveless marriage. bleh. basically the pastor was a stooge. my brother did the sermon and all the rest of the good stuff.

have a quaker wedding.
they rock.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Yeah I am also worried about that kind of thing.

[heatherfeathyr.livejournal.com]

maybe you could get the same woman that did britney spears' wedding. http://www.gawker.com/news/culture/britney-spears/index.php#britney-kevins-honeymoon-youd-be-drinking-too-033236

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

and then after the ceremony we can have fried chicken like we are ghetto trash too. heh

Do you think you would be interested in doing some quick bunny-sitting?

[tyrven.livejournal.com]

If you need referrals for any lesbian witches let me know.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Oh I know more lesbian witches than I can shake a stick at. thanks though. I will keep you in mind.

[phunbee.livejournal.com]

Don't fuck your wedding. You fuck AFTER the wedding. Silly boo.
Can I be the lesbian witch that marries you??? Just a couple of clicks on ye old inter-web and I will be ordained. If the host of Fear Factor can do it for a couple that was on his show, I can do it for you.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

You are full of so many good ideas. I figure that post was out of insanity, so things aren't so bad now.