oh woe oh joy

[gfrancie]

In between peculiar dreams about ugly wedding dresses, bad short movies by film students and other anxiety-induced dreams I think I had a good night's rest. Did I mention the dream I had the other night where I apparently forgot I had a baby and kept losing the kid in my purse. My purse?!?! There I am trying to pull out my little pocket book and lo and behold there is a baby in my purse. Yes I do have a large purse but how can one lose a baby in there? It isn't like I own Mary Poppin's handbag. Yeah so there is that. I have 3 million things to do tomorrow that I must get done otherwise I will probably have more anxiety dreams. This morning we began to book things for our honeymoon. We even worked out how many days we are staying in various places so that is nice. More Rsvps yesterday. *covers eyes* Thank goodness I picked an overly cute small little girl to be my flower girl. She will be there to take attention away from me. This little girl is so cute that my Mother said she is like this overly cute muppet.

I need to think of something to make for dinner tonight. Probably something with salad. Maybe I should make some pasta?

But all anxiety aside and hopefully not to sound like an arrogant twit there are moments (yes real moments of clarity) when I do feel like the world's luckiest girl alive. Yet I am never comfortable with it. It is a bit like being given your own pony and you are afraid it will all be taken away. Does that make sense?

Okay enough peering into my psyche I think Mr. Jenner is making noises about doing something for lunch and I should take some more advil.

Comments

[instantkarmma.livejournal.com]

But all anxiety aside and hopefully not to sound like an arrogant twit there are moments (yes real moments of clarity) when I do feel like the world's luckiest girl alive. Yet I am never comfortable with it. It is a bit like being given your own pony and you are afraid it will all be taken away. Does that make sense?

Absolutely. Paul and I went to my step-grandmother's memorial yesterday, on a boat no less. (she passed a few months ago, so the mood was a bit celebratory) When leaving, my (married)aunt tells Paul "You're the best looking guy on the boat!" and I'm thinking "Yeah he is, what the hell is he doing coming home with me?" We either need better self-esteem or Zoloft.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

I think you summed it up right there perfectly.

[emmabovary.livejournal.com]

I've had that "I forgot I had a baby" dream, too! I wonder what it means.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Apparently it has to do with anxieties about whether one will be a good Mother someday or is a good Mother. It is a good thing because it means you are concerned.

[phunbee.livejournal.com]

The comment about good things being taken away is VERY VERY common among people like us. You know, people who have experineced bad things in life and thus are not dillusional happy pill popping bubble heads. A sense of something wonderful being taken away for some unknown reason is a natural feeling and the result of anxiety, of which you seem to have a lot. Again, very normal. I recommend Mortazopine. My friend adorable P gives me some of his sometimes and that stops anxiety super quick.
Your flower girl is Bean Bunny??

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Yes. My flower girl is Bean Bunny. Brilliant move on my part. *laughs* The little girl is named Betsy and she is so adorable you will want to put her in your pocket and take her home and put her on a shelf to show off to company.

I am handling the anxiety pretty well these days so I am kind of proud. I drink a lot of water and pet animals.

[deathwish-daisy.livejournal.com]

"the dream I had the other night where I apparently forgot I had a baby and kept losing the kid in my purse. My purse?!?!"

Many men would not find that surprising... My boyfriend for example is AMAZED at the things I lose in my purse/handbag... apparently women carry the most random things around sometimes... I once found a potato masher in a friends bag while looking for mints.. she wouldn't give me an explanation :/

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

Never question what a woman has in her purse I always say. I keep all kinds of crazy things in my purse. I tend to keep a lot of books in there. This is why I need a big purse to hold my brain.