gfrancie | You want to talk about something being too dull-making?

I am kind of at this point sans meds where things are pretty cool for the most part. Though there is this one thing. When I initially reduced my meds last Fall, I went through a period in the month of November where I was depressed. It was really surprising in a way because I felt really angry and it took me awhile to figure out what was going on with me. "oh hey you know depression. Remember that decade-long depressive episode where you felt this low all of the time?" It passed within a few weeks. It was mostly my brain trying to re-wire itself.
So I am doing that again.

It is fairly mild in the grand scheme of things. It will pass. I think just telling Mr. Jenner out loud helped. "yeah I am kind of depressed but it is okay. I am not going to do an impression of Virginia Woolf or anything." At least I am getting some good jokes out of this. I will say that so many things become funny to me when I am depressed. (which doesn't make a bit of sense but this is how it works.)

The real bother is that nothing seems like much fun at the moment -when it should. Even cooking is just a dreary prospect at times. I do it though. If I keep cooking, keep leaving the house and keep doing the daily thing, I will get through this. On that note I can't make any promises on the social front. The idea of facing most social occasions makes me want to lie down on the floor for awhile. "you mean I have to put on pants... and talk to people? Why not just ask me to climb Mt. Rainier this afternoon while you're at it." The other bother is trying to make decisions. "I could do this? Or should I do that...meh." YET, I am having a good time with my kids. We aren't doing too much but I feel this sense of grace in that being with my kids and doing the inane stuff like helping with lego and reading books makes me feel okay.

You know it is bad when you find yourself eating vegan cookies.