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Aug. 22nd, 2013 10:50 pmA nice day out kind of killed me.
I threw myself out of bed, made lunches (you would think I would be organized and have some things made the day before but I am not that person. Judge all you like. I am disorganized and I have dustbunnies.) and organized everyone else. "GET DRESSED DAMMIT" was mostly how I did that. We got out of the house to meet my Mother in law at a particular time, so we could go to this freaking adventure park. We were to meet cousins/in laws there. (I later found out that my sister in law spoke to my mother in law and said, "yeah we will likely leave half an hour later, so let others know so they don't have to wait around." this didn't happen. c'est la flipping vie or something.) We arrive at said adventure park that people wanted to attend because it had dinosaurs AND my Mother in law was able to finagle some free tickets as someone who is in charge of a holiday place. Our job was to check out every fucking thing and then offer feed back. There isn't a free lunch. Because we had to check out every single fucking thing. I also made the mistake of wearing jeans because it seemed over-cast-ish out and well that burned off quickly and you know how it goes. Every few years a person needs to wear jeans in hot weather to remind themselves of how fucking awful it is, and why they really hate jeans at heart. I really do. Fuck jeans. They're for prospectors and people who die young and become cultural icons. Oh you want to comment about how you love jeans? Fine. I will probably silently judge some aspect of your life.
We went on ahead while other people showed up later. There was a petasaurus, which is an amusing name for the petting-ish zoo. There were pigs wallowing in mud, assorted chickens and guinea fowl that saunter around the place, and other semi-domesticated animals. I think I liked the lump of guinea pigs and bunnies that hung out together. I also appreciated the rabbit that stood around a crowd of guinea fowl. It was like he was waiting for a bus and there were these hooligans and he didn't quite trust them.
We wandered around to the sea lion area (not exactly open, they do a daily show) and then down towards the tiny monkey area. I suppose it has a proper name but I like calling it the tiny monkey area. Because they had different areas with different kinds of tiny primates. Like "oh I could steal one and put it in my hand bag" tiny. I should explain this park a bit. It is this wild life and dinosaur adventure park and they have some zoo-ish animals, plus they allegedly do conservation work, and plus there are some animatronic dinosaurs, and a few other random things that don't quite make sense but sort of do in that "quirky English park" kind of way. AND it is all built into this deeply wooded valley. So a lot of winding trails with semi-tropical plants all around you. Plus nettles and ferns. And there are streams and waterfalls. It has a slight down at heels feel to it but it is under new ownership, and they suffered a massive land-slide last winter, so they are in the process of trying to get the place up to snuff, just after the massive fixing of a hillside. They get points for their effort.
We looked at the tiny monkeys, and some Asian otters that live in rivers, and some wolves, and a display with raccoons. Which cracked me up, because you know... raccoons. That would be like going to a zoo in England and seeing a display of badgers or something. "Oh look, tiny assholes who tear up the garbage and steal chickens." Okay so they aren't totally assholes because raccoons can be kind of cute looking. But it amused me. Then there was an African section which consisted of a couple of lions hiding out under some wood. Lions sleep 20 hours a day, they aren't exactly great to view. Plus they weren't eating today. Near by was some recently shorn alpaca. They looked about as pleased as alpaca could be with recent haircuts who also live near some lions, and some grey wolves. The view was excellent. Eventually we made our way toward the birds of prey, learned a bit about owls. "They are owls. They eat things. They are endangered, and they eat rats and people poison rats, and that isn't good." All while sitting on a nice lawn.
Eventually with some texting we found the rest of the family. I have this once niece that is kind of a grump. But you know, I get her thing. I am not saying she is Alice Roosevelt, but she is kind of an introvert at heart but she reacts in a way where she gets kind of ticked off when overwhelmed. She really wanted to go to this dinosaur park, but at the same time she arrived and was like, "fuck, this. All these people here. It's too much." (obviously she doesn't have the mouth of a sailor.) She is only five but I wanted to say, "Kid, it's okay. I am grumpy too."
We did yet another loop of the tiny monkeys. Then we got to watch the Sea Lion show. That was lovely and the right length for our collective attention span average. Sea Lions do the best golf clap, and they are total hams. They obviously are good at clowning it up, and you haven't lived until you have seen a sea lion demonstrate the differences between a seal and a sea lion and DO an impression of how a seal walks. Sarcastic sea lions! For a few pounds you could pay to have your picture taken while a sea lion kisses you. We went to look at South African penguins instead. We ambled and then had our picnic lunch. Oh and we had a look at the ancient pharaoh exhibit which made no fucking sense as to why it was there, but it was nice enough. Then there was the bug exhibit which had a lot of exotic large bugs. Miss Biscuit was a fan of the rainbow stag beetle. It was shiny and rainbow-ish. Wheelhouse of a three year old.
We had to return to look at the disappointing lions, and then we eventually made it to the little railroad where you went on a little track and went through a tunnel or two and then came to some old time scene where a massive gush of water representing some land slide of old came down and you get wet. This was well-received by the small set. It was refreshing because I was hot and tired and my back was acting up. Afterwards we had ice cream and the children had fun with the tortoises who wandered around in one area. Oh yes and there was an area devoted to Australian creatures that hung out in a pretty casual way. You could come pretty close to them, but you weren't supposed to feed them.
Finally after all that wandering and sauntering, and observing of these animals, there was a meerkat talk/observatory area. You could sit on logs and watch as meerkats were within a foot of you as they were being fed. Meerkats are pretty adorable, right? People like them. Well they are something else when they are being fed. They turn vicious when there is food. They hiss in a pretty evil way over chicken feet and they would look adorable one second and the next it was "I will fucking tear your head off Dave if you take my lunch" and it would gnaw on the chicken foot and not have any of it and THEN, the damn thing would almost post for the camera, "and I am CUUUUUUUUUUUTEEEEEEEEEEE". Meerkat, I will know not to mess with you in prison.
We had reached our fill of day tripping. We went to the dinosaur museum and looked at some old bones. We said our good byes. We played a very very long game of I Spy in the car before dropping off Nana. There was a quick supper, we put children to bed. Mr. Jenner and I lay there like slugs on the sofa. WHY DID THIS DAY TRY AND KILL US. Maybe it is too soon after the massive UK road trip. We woke up without our rhythm happening. I am going to bed and reading a soothing book. Tomorrow let's be gentle.
It was a nice little park. They could get rid of the lions and put in some ponies instead. People like ponies. Also more toilets, and maybe an open bar, and more sarky animals. Still, a nice day out.
I threw myself out of bed, made lunches (you would think I would be organized and have some things made the day before but I am not that person. Judge all you like. I am disorganized and I have dustbunnies.) and organized everyone else. "GET DRESSED DAMMIT" was mostly how I did that. We got out of the house to meet my Mother in law at a particular time, so we could go to this freaking adventure park. We were to meet cousins/in laws there. (I later found out that my sister in law spoke to my mother in law and said, "yeah we will likely leave half an hour later, so let others know so they don't have to wait around." this didn't happen. c'est la flipping vie or something.) We arrive at said adventure park that people wanted to attend because it had dinosaurs AND my Mother in law was able to finagle some free tickets as someone who is in charge of a holiday place. Our job was to check out every fucking thing and then offer feed back. There isn't a free lunch. Because we had to check out every single fucking thing. I also made the mistake of wearing jeans because it seemed over-cast-ish out and well that burned off quickly and you know how it goes. Every few years a person needs to wear jeans in hot weather to remind themselves of how fucking awful it is, and why they really hate jeans at heart. I really do. Fuck jeans. They're for prospectors and people who die young and become cultural icons. Oh you want to comment about how you love jeans? Fine. I will probably silently judge some aspect of your life.
We went on ahead while other people showed up later. There was a petasaurus, which is an amusing name for the petting-ish zoo. There were pigs wallowing in mud, assorted chickens and guinea fowl that saunter around the place, and other semi-domesticated animals. I think I liked the lump of guinea pigs and bunnies that hung out together. I also appreciated the rabbit that stood around a crowd of guinea fowl. It was like he was waiting for a bus and there were these hooligans and he didn't quite trust them.
We wandered around to the sea lion area (not exactly open, they do a daily show) and then down towards the tiny monkey area. I suppose it has a proper name but I like calling it the tiny monkey area. Because they had different areas with different kinds of tiny primates. Like "oh I could steal one and put it in my hand bag" tiny. I should explain this park a bit. It is this wild life and dinosaur adventure park and they have some zoo-ish animals, plus they allegedly do conservation work, and plus there are some animatronic dinosaurs, and a few other random things that don't quite make sense but sort of do in that "quirky English park" kind of way. AND it is all built into this deeply wooded valley. So a lot of winding trails with semi-tropical plants all around you. Plus nettles and ferns. And there are streams and waterfalls. It has a slight down at heels feel to it but it is under new ownership, and they suffered a massive land-slide last winter, so they are in the process of trying to get the place up to snuff, just after the massive fixing of a hillside. They get points for their effort.
We looked at the tiny monkeys, and some Asian otters that live in rivers, and some wolves, and a display with raccoons. Which cracked me up, because you know... raccoons. That would be like going to a zoo in England and seeing a display of badgers or something. "Oh look, tiny assholes who tear up the garbage and steal chickens." Okay so they aren't totally assholes because raccoons can be kind of cute looking. But it amused me. Then there was an African section which consisted of a couple of lions hiding out under some wood. Lions sleep 20 hours a day, they aren't exactly great to view. Plus they weren't eating today. Near by was some recently shorn alpaca. They looked about as pleased as alpaca could be with recent haircuts who also live near some lions, and some grey wolves. The view was excellent. Eventually we made our way toward the birds of prey, learned a bit about owls. "They are owls. They eat things. They are endangered, and they eat rats and people poison rats, and that isn't good." All while sitting on a nice lawn.
Eventually with some texting we found the rest of the family. I have this once niece that is kind of a grump. But you know, I get her thing. I am not saying she is Alice Roosevelt, but she is kind of an introvert at heart but she reacts in a way where she gets kind of ticked off when overwhelmed. She really wanted to go to this dinosaur park, but at the same time she arrived and was like, "fuck, this. All these people here. It's too much." (obviously she doesn't have the mouth of a sailor.) She is only five but I wanted to say, "Kid, it's okay. I am grumpy too."
We did yet another loop of the tiny monkeys. Then we got to watch the Sea Lion show. That was lovely and the right length for our collective attention span average. Sea Lions do the best golf clap, and they are total hams. They obviously are good at clowning it up, and you haven't lived until you have seen a sea lion demonstrate the differences between a seal and a sea lion and DO an impression of how a seal walks. Sarcastic sea lions! For a few pounds you could pay to have your picture taken while a sea lion kisses you. We went to look at South African penguins instead. We ambled and then had our picnic lunch. Oh and we had a look at the ancient pharaoh exhibit which made no fucking sense as to why it was there, but it was nice enough. Then there was the bug exhibit which had a lot of exotic large bugs. Miss Biscuit was a fan of the rainbow stag beetle. It was shiny and rainbow-ish. Wheelhouse of a three year old.
We had to return to look at the disappointing lions, and then we eventually made it to the little railroad where you went on a little track and went through a tunnel or two and then came to some old time scene where a massive gush of water representing some land slide of old came down and you get wet. This was well-received by the small set. It was refreshing because I was hot and tired and my back was acting up. Afterwards we had ice cream and the children had fun with the tortoises who wandered around in one area. Oh yes and there was an area devoted to Australian creatures that hung out in a pretty casual way. You could come pretty close to them, but you weren't supposed to feed them.
Finally after all that wandering and sauntering, and observing of these animals, there was a meerkat talk/observatory area. You could sit on logs and watch as meerkats were within a foot of you as they were being fed. Meerkats are pretty adorable, right? People like them. Well they are something else when they are being fed. They turn vicious when there is food. They hiss in a pretty evil way over chicken feet and they would look adorable one second and the next it was "I will fucking tear your head off Dave if you take my lunch" and it would gnaw on the chicken foot and not have any of it and THEN, the damn thing would almost post for the camera, "and I am CUUUUUUUUUUUTEEEEEEEEEEE". Meerkat, I will know not to mess with you in prison.
We had reached our fill of day tripping. We went to the dinosaur museum and looked at some old bones. We said our good byes. We played a very very long game of I Spy in the car before dropping off Nana. There was a quick supper, we put children to bed. Mr. Jenner and I lay there like slugs on the sofa. WHY DID THIS DAY TRY AND KILL US. Maybe it is too soon after the massive UK road trip. We woke up without our rhythm happening. I am going to bed and reading a soothing book. Tomorrow let's be gentle.
It was a nice little park. They could get rid of the lions and put in some ponies instead. People like ponies. Also more toilets, and maybe an open bar, and more sarky animals. Still, a nice day out.
