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the long winded prayer of a Mother
Mar. 7th, 2015 05:38 pmSenor Onion didn't have the best week at school. It might have been that he was missing his Dad. (who returned yesterday. Hurray!) It might have been the usual business of being eight years old and learning how to be. There are times when I agree with his teacher about when we should make it a big deal. Like when Senor Onion got mad that he was "it" and hit his friend with a noodle at the pool. (Senor Onion often gets in trouble with that other kid, so I told him to avoid hanging out with the kid because it doesn't really lead to good things. Though I know that kid has his own set of issues, so kindness is important. I don't want to write that kid off, but he isn't good for my kid.) Or when he has smarted off. And really between you and me and the rest of the internet, there are times when I think, "Christ... he is eight years old. He is going to act certain ways." He and that other kid were doing karate poses, and the teacher gets all worked up and tells them off. But I also know that she has to keep an eye on a bunch of kids, and has to follow government guide-lines from a bullshit government about how to educate children, and she probably has had her dreams crushed a bit about what teaching was going to be. So she has her own pile of ish she is probably experiencing.
And there is that whole thing I have never quite come to grips with, when they tell children, "you musn't be silly." And I know it is a cultural difference. Really. Maybe one day I will understand the British, and what living on a damp crowded island does the the collective mind-set. One day.. Maybe.
And there is my own cultural experience from the western part of the US, which is best described as, "You can't tell me what to do. I will do it my own way." You can do that when you have the space. So I never understand some of the rules about when the kids can go to the bathroom. I mean yeah, I get that whole position of "they would ALL be going to the bathroom and nothing could ever be taught." But I am also suspicious of too much control over another person's body.
I am merely thinking out loud.
Yesterday I was feeling terrible. Have I failed my kid? I know the teacher doesn't mean it, but when she is laying out what is going on with Senor Onion, when it isn't good, that somehow all of this is because I am not that good at my job, and you feel like the teacher is thinking, "why isn't he super well behaved and quiet and super obedient." I was also upset with Senor Onion about some of his behavior. But I also told him I loved him. and that we are cool. He probably feels A LOT of pressure to be good.
Maybe I need to sit the teacher down one day and say, "He is eight. He is going to be silly. He is going to go too far. He is going to smart off now and then. He is going to push buttons. He is trying. He is going to keep trying. But you know what? I am also raising him to question a lot of bullshit handed out by society. So he isn't going to be super obedient. He is going to tell you what he thinks. He is going to have a keen sense of his rights. Yeah he is working on his anger like any other human. But christ on a cracker, he is a child."
He may not be able to go on a field trip next week because of the fact he did those karate poses on the last field trip and they made noises about putting him in another class room that day. And really? I am not one for doing humiliation, and I just get this sense that, there is a hint of that. Even though the school is very good in many ways... I am just not playing. I would rather keep him at home, where he could learn more that day, and have a better time.
Still, Senor Onion is all right. People say he has a kind heart. He is gentle with younger children, and animals. He is enthusiastic about all kinds of things. He has his own pile of anxiety about his ability to do certain things. He wants to be the best at stuff. He enjoys his friends. He asks millions of questions about why we do every single thing we do. (His Grandma is likely proud of this fact.) He has a really wicked sense of humor, and he is eight. Eight year olds are pretty fun in my opinion.
And there is that whole thing I have never quite come to grips with, when they tell children, "you musn't be silly." And I know it is a cultural difference. Really. Maybe one day I will understand the British, and what living on a damp crowded island does the the collective mind-set. One day.. Maybe.
And there is my own cultural experience from the western part of the US, which is best described as, "You can't tell me what to do. I will do it my own way." You can do that when you have the space. So I never understand some of the rules about when the kids can go to the bathroom. I mean yeah, I get that whole position of "they would ALL be going to the bathroom and nothing could ever be taught." But I am also suspicious of too much control over another person's body.
I am merely thinking out loud.
Yesterday I was feeling terrible. Have I failed my kid? I know the teacher doesn't mean it, but when she is laying out what is going on with Senor Onion, when it isn't good, that somehow all of this is because I am not that good at my job, and you feel like the teacher is thinking, "why isn't he super well behaved and quiet and super obedient." I was also upset with Senor Onion about some of his behavior. But I also told him I loved him. and that we are cool. He probably feels A LOT of pressure to be good.
Maybe I need to sit the teacher down one day and say, "He is eight. He is going to be silly. He is going to go too far. He is going to smart off now and then. He is going to push buttons. He is trying. He is going to keep trying. But you know what? I am also raising him to question a lot of bullshit handed out by society. So he isn't going to be super obedient. He is going to tell you what he thinks. He is going to have a keen sense of his rights. Yeah he is working on his anger like any other human. But christ on a cracker, he is a child."
He may not be able to go on a field trip next week because of the fact he did those karate poses on the last field trip and they made noises about putting him in another class room that day. And really? I am not one for doing humiliation, and I just get this sense that, there is a hint of that. Even though the school is very good in many ways... I am just not playing. I would rather keep him at home, where he could learn more that day, and have a better time.
Still, Senor Onion is all right. People say he has a kind heart. He is gentle with younger children, and animals. He is enthusiastic about all kinds of things. He has his own pile of anxiety about his ability to do certain things. He wants to be the best at stuff. He enjoys his friends. He asks millions of questions about why we do every single thing we do. (His Grandma is likely proud of this fact.) He has a really wicked sense of humor, and he is eight. Eight year olds are pretty fun in my opinion.
